Mistress Leora and Mistress Danielle Blunt get together to talk findom (financial domination), female-led relationships and female supremacy, and their unique styles of 24/7 D/s and sensual domination.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Hello everyone, and welcome. I am here today with Mistress Leora and I am super excited to be having a conversation of our own unique different styles of financial domination. I am Mistress Danielle Blunt, a professional dominatrix based out of New York City and I would love if you could introduce yourself, Leora.
Mistress Leora:
Hello, Mistress Blunt. It’s an honor and a privilege to be here chatting with you. I’m so excited about this opportunity to share more together and also learn more about your style. I’ve been watching you for a long time. I find it so incredible to be in this space with you now, so thank you.
My name is Mistress Leora. I am a femdom financial dominatrix and overall sensual muse. I work mostly online, hoping to do more real-time in the future, but now just enjoying exploring the online realm and seeing how far that power can take me.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s so interesting because I feel like my experience has largely been in-person until the pandemic where I migrated to more online forms of work, and you are having the opposite experience now talking about having worked primarily online and playing with financial domination and findom online and expressing interest to move that into a more physical real-time space.
I’m curious for you, what has it been like being an online financial dominatrix and what about exploring dynamics in real-time appealed to you?
Mistress Leora:
Yeah. That’s a great question. I think how findom online started for me was… I think this is the case for a lot of people probably, but just feeling very depleted in other aspects of my vanilla professional life and feeling like I really wanted to see if I could command more power, more income, more freedom and autonomy. I really wondered if that was possible in leveraging my sensuality and my dominance alongside any other skills that I would normally use in my vanilla civilian job.
I sort of started findom online as an experiment. I had run into this little corner of the internet and been really impressed with different doms who I’d seen working completely in this online space and really setting their boundaries and leveraging their work as they wanted, like really defining that for themselves and so many different individual styles as well.
That was something that inspired me and I thought, “Okay. I’ll give this a try.” I also feel like I was drawn to the online space because it offers a way for many people who may feel like they want to experiment with exercising dominance or developing their own style and brand of domination or trying out an aspect of sex work online in a way that is very private.
It feels very safe. It feels like a secure environment to experiment, especially in the beginning as opposed to jumping right into real-time without any experience or training under other dominatrices. I feel like for me, that was really a good place to begin and also allowed me to interact with a large volume of submissives in the early days. Just being able to really talk and connect with a lot of different submissives from all over the world learning about their interests, their desires, what they hunger to experience. I think for me, that was extremely formative for my dominations.
I had gone directly to meeting clients in person in my own city. I think that that was the orientation for me. I think that I also see a lot of… online, we see a lot of gate keeping around what is real domination. Is online domination real? Maybe some gate keeping around what newer sex workers should or shouldn’t do or can or can’t do.
I really do feel that the online space has opened up a new environment for so many people to experiment with their sexuality, experiment with their domination and develop their own avenue for work, their avenue for their own freedom and goals and in a way that is really safe. I don’t know. I’m very celebratory of any person who wants to use this as a space to experiment, because I think that it’s beautiful to see what people can create from that.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s so interesting hearing you say like, “Is financial domination real domination?” I feel like really deeply embedded in Sex Worker Twitter and especially in Financial Domination Twitter. There are so many conversations around the role that money plays in both sex work and in D/s dynamics.
I was just having a conversation yesterday with one of my financial submissives, one of my fin subs about how, for us, financial domination is an expression of our D/s dynamic and in a society that places so much value and gives so much power to money that it feels to me like a natural part of submission by giving control over those funds to your dom.
While this might look different in a variety of different D/s relationships, I feel like in total power exchange dynamics, for me, being able to control my submissive’s finances to different extents really just makes that power exchange feel all the more tangible. For me, so much of playing with D/s is about sacrifice and surrender and really suffering in the religious sense of the word for a higher power, for your dom, for your mistress.
Mistress Leora:
Yes.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. To me, suffering or surrendering and prioritizing the needs and desires and pleasures of your mistress over your own necessitates a financial sacrifice. I always get annoyed on in these deep sex worker Twitter spaces or just kinky queer Twitter spaces about how, if there is a financial exchange, it is not a personal submissive. Have you seen this one?
Mistress Leora:
It suddenly becomes de-legitimized through that.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Right. Like the relationship that I have with a client is less intimate than other types of relationships or that money somehow erases the power dynamic. For me, I’m on the other end of the spectrum where it’s like, “If you want to play with power, we’re playing with money.”
Mistress Leora:
Yeah. I could not agree more with everything that you just said. I really feel, and I actually looked up a tweet that I had tweeted a long time ago because it really resonated with this discussion. I really feel like, as you’ve said, there are so many folks who will say financial domination is not findom whereas I really feel as though financial domination is one of the purest forms of findom and it’s a natural extension of a findom.
It cannot be detached from that when we live in the capitalist structure in which we are embedded. My tweet said financial sacrifice is the purest form of submission because only gifts of cash say, “I want the best for you, and I trust you to know what is best for yourself.” I feel like so many can answer.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Hot.
Mistress Leora:
Yeah. So many clients like giving gifts, lingerie, sex toys, whatever other things that are tinged with the interests of that client whereas a gift of cash is so pure. Like you said, it’s the most sacrificial and painful thing that you can do is overextend yourself financially for your dominant.
I really feel as though… Especially I do feel like that has currency in regular full-service sex work as well as in person D/s, but I feel like in the online sphere, there is really nothing more important just because of the quality of that exchange wherein there are so many people in dom’s inboxes at any given time, wanting attention, wanting kink, wanting to experience your unique sensuality and what you have to offer, but presenting it as this situation where they are going to be serving you, but in the online space without financial sacrifice, where is the servitude?
Because what it amounts to is the client consuming the attention and the energy of the dominant, which is a very intense energy that we put forward.
We need to take something from that. That ultimately needs to benefit us as the dominant. If the submissive is truly in this orientation of serving, submitting, focusing on the dom’s pleasure, I think that is so key. I really feel that that financial exchange, it’s just…yeah.
It’s so, so, so powerful because in the moment, even in real-time, in the moment, you may be sacrificing your power by submitting yourself to corporal punishment from your mistress. You might be reveling in that power exchange of really allowing yourself to be physically overpowered, but only gifts of cash, especially over a long term can actually change your Dom’s life, offering them more security, more peace, more comfort, the ability to invest in the future, in your home.
All of these things that you would really want for someone you love and admire. That’s why I think it is so powerful and really just a natural component of findom. I feel like there is no true submission without really wanting the best for your dom in every way that you can put that forward.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
100%. Financial security is hands down my love language. I love how you phrase that. It reminds me how you phrase the tweet that you referenced in the beginning that money is a gift where you’re saying, “I trust you to know what’s best for you,” and doesn’t have to do with someone’s fantasy of what you want. It reminds me of… in Judaism, there’s different types of community service and Tikkun Olam of different ways of giving.
One of the highest forms of this charity is giving anonymously and without strings attached to that donation. I think about Tikkun Olam a lot when I’m thinking about financial domination, that the ultimate act of submission and service is that you don’t need to be recognized for what you’re doing and that it enables whoever you’re giving it to, to do whatever they want with it, which is also in a community organizing perspective like why I am so involved in mutual aid organization and why I give folks that I see on the street cash? Because who am I to tell this person what they need?
They clearly know themselves better than anyone and I trust that they will do what they need to do with the cash. I think that that is something that I really think a lot about. True submission being not necessarily for recognition and in a way, that recognizes and respects that we know what we’re doing.
Also, what you’re saying about security really being such a beautiful gift. When I think about submission and how individuals serve me, it’s really important that I don’t become reliant on that type of service or submission. The types of service and submission that have always resonated the most with me have been ones that have empowered me to either learn a skill or gain more financial security.
For example, I have a submissive who works on my website and I also can work on my website, but I’d rather someone else pay me to do it. But when I run into a problem, they film a tutorial for me. Whenever they’re working on my website and doing something for me that I don’t know how to do, they will record a personalized tutorial for me, so that I can then do that task, even if they leave my service.
I think for me, that’s such an important part of submission that whether or not this relation… Any relationship. Whether or not this relationship continues, I want you to thrive and survive and be secure and have access to all of the things that you want and desire.
Mistress Leora:
I absolutely love that. Yeah, I think that is so true. That is the difference to me between submitting your physical body in a session and submitting financially and with gifts of tutorials or skill building like you just mentioned, which I think is so cool. That shifts it from a momentary direct power exchange where the submissive is also benefiting from that interaction and gaining a direct erotic experience from that interaction. It shifts it from that space to this long term benefit for the dominant.
I think that really engaging in that from the submissive side says, “I want you to benefit from my submission, not today only, but over weeks, months, years,” even long after they’ve left your service, long after that relationship. It really creates something that is so long term and honors the dominant’s authority over such a long term because it enables us as the dom to create this life that we’ve dreamed of and imagined.
Just that freedom to be able to go and create and travel and be so comfortable and have the ability to pursue any goals in projects that we’re interested in. The submissive financial sacrifice to me honors that in such a beautiful way. Not to mention that I think that power exchange in the moment is sexy as fuck, just because it is so delicious. That is the real… I don’t have as much real-time experience.
I’m starting to develop that a little more now, but in the online sphere, I think it’s very hard to achieve that feeling of true, tangible power exchange and financial domination definitely achieves that in such a sexy way, I feel for both the dominant and the submissive. I think that it’s truly such an erotic and powerful experience to really give up that level of tangible power and for me to receive it. I think some folks might think that that’s not an intimate or sensual thing, but truly…
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Try it once and report back.
Mistress Leora:
Yeah.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s so interesting. I think this goes back a little bit to what we were talking about before of how people see sex work in financial domination, but I think on the reverse end of that, there’s also the idea that paying for any type of sex work is a form of financial domination, which it definitely is not.
Paying someone for their labor/time experience and expertise is not a form of financial domination. I know I’ve chatted with people on my Only Fans about… I’m like, “Oh, you need to tip if you want to chat with me.” They’re like, “I’m not into fin dom.” I’m like, “This has nothing to do with financial domination. You’re clearly a little bitch,” but other than…
Mistress Leora:
Brutal situation.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. You’re just paying for my time. People are so uncomfortable with this concept of seeing a sex worker or having a financial interaction in a relationship, but also so many relationships, especially heteronormative relationships have this… money is a huge component of this relationship. People stay together because of financial codependency or financial abuse and all of these different ways that money mediates relationships, whether or not sex work or whether or not financial domination is involved.
I think to take that out of the wheelhouse when you’re exploring power dynamics is such a squandering of something that’s really hot because like you’re saying, it’s such a tangible and potent way to play with power, especially in distance relationships.
Even in real-time, at one point during the pandemic, I had this guy that I was chatting with who was sending me a little bit of money for my attention and he wound up driving four hours to drop off a couple thousand dollars to me and kiss each of my feet once and then drove four hours back. I was so turned on after the event. Two of my friends were in the other car just watching, which was really hot too.
Mistress Leora:
So hot. Oh, my God. I’d have to masterbate afterwards.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. I was super turned on afterwards. I spoiled the shit out of my friends and was just so erotically charged from this connection. Also, for me, knowing that he was driving to see me was also very hot, but I can imagine what that did to him of not being allowed to come or touch himself until he came to see me. That turned that eight-hour car ride in two-minute interaction with me into an all day sexual experience for this person.
Mistress Leora:
Yes. So hot. I bet it, and it just arouses you even harder.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. I’m getting turned onto just thinking about it because that showed so much sacrifice that he was willing to sacrifice his whole day in an effort to bring me pleasure and I directed him how he could bring me pleasure and it was just…
Mistress Leora:
He wanted to do it for you. Right.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yes. I think that that’s something that also, I would like to talk about. For me, I’m interested in submission that worships me as an individual, less that worships me as an embodiment of a dominatrix. I don’t know if it’s holistic domination, but for me, it’s very much… I know we want to have a conversation on how female superiority, supremacy fits into these conversations.
I’m super curious on your thoughts on this. I think for me, I have a lot of queer clients and a lot of queer clients that I play with financial domination with, so it has gotten to be less of that gender discrepancy. For me, I think I just realized like, “I’m fucking amazing.”
Mistress Leora:
Yes.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
So few people are actually dominant, and I want to be worshiped for who I am as a person, not per se just as this embodiment of femininity, which is a very hot and fun thing to play with as part of an individual submission to me.
Mistress Leora:
Yes. Yes. No, I couldn’t agree more. I think actually that’s probably why I think many of our philosophies resonate is because I completely relate to this desire of… I really enjoy playing with these kinks and fetishes and really using whether it’s clothing or whether it’s specific kinks to trigger folks like fantasies. But ultimately, I know of myself that I am a force of nature as a woman and as a broader dominant.
Being worshiped holistically for every part of me that exists and every part of… However that manifests in my day-to-day life, whether or not I’m in high heels or latex, that is key for me. I think also for me, it’s really interesting how you say that it’s become less gendered for you. I think that is so, so cool. For me, I think it remains very gendered.
I think it’s definitely an extension of my politics or praxis in the way that I relate to men in the world. I do have women submissives. I’ve had a couple of envy submissives. The dynamic to me feels completely different. I don’t know. I love those dynamics as well, but it’s very much… It’s less politicized for me in that sense, and it’s way more of a nurturing mommy-oriented interaction.
Whereas with men, I just feel that it is a writing of wrongs in a way, but I also made some notes on this in the way that permeates beyond just our little sex work Twitter verse sphere. I think it can really extend into our broader lives as well. I know that I personally talk with a lot of my girlfriends, a lot of other women that I know, because I know that I have this confidence in this way that I carry myself, which is rare for them and something that they desire to emulate more.
I think for me, in terms of the use of not only both financial domination and just a femdom philosophy, like an orientation to life, I feel that it is subversive in and of itself because the default in our world is putting men first. I feel that putting yourself first in everything that you’re doing is already very subversive to the social order as it is, and also being very straightforward about that, I find naturally attracts people who also have that orientation.
Beyond a focus on specific femdom fetishes, I find that my energy and confidence as a dominant woman really naturally rewards me in my day-to-day life through the way that I uphold boundaries.
For example, not putting forth emotional labor for people who have not earned that, really keeping a focus on putting myself and my pleasure first and through again, it attracts people, it attracts men, male submissives into my life with whom that energy resonates, because I do think that it’s not taboo for everything to be structured around a man.
That’s the default. That’s how things have always been. I think that a lot of men submissives really want to break free from that and seek a dominant leader for whom they can reorient their focus. Yeah. I think just this act of really centering yourself as a femme in this world is already so powerful. I think that I love watching people of all genders learn from that.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I can’t think of anything more humiliating than submitting to a man.
Mistress Leora:
Literally.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I understand forced bi-sessions only in that.
Mistress Leora:
Totally.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
But I wonder if everyone who submits to men feels that way.
Mistress Leora:
I totally get the desire as a dominant to maybe experience submission. Yeah. I feel like that obviously feels safer at the hands of a woman and I also just feel like submitting to a man, again, there’s nothing taboo about it. There’s nothing subversive. How am I going to get turned on? Do you know? It’s just not…
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s just basically vanilla sex.
Mistress Leora:
Yeah, exactly. It’s not doing it for me.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. I think there’s something so interesting about that subversion of power dynamics that both female supremacy plays as well as financial domination because you are subverting these deeply patriarchal capitalistic notions that are so embedded into the structure of our society. I think that there is so much that can be learned through that subversion.
I love how you talk about the ways to take these practices out of the dungeon or out of the bedroom and into your life and the ways that you embed and embody your femdom praxis in your everyday life. I think it’s something that I talk a lot about, especially I have a yoga practice like taking things off of the dungeon into the mat into your everyday life. There are so many lessons that can be learned. We’ve talked while we weren’t recording about some of the similarities and differences in our branding.
I think that we tend to have somewhat similar clientele and submissives who are like… I’m sure there are some differences, but it seems to be that we both value and prioritize ongoing relationships in a space where we can explore what this relationship looks like and how I can transform your life and be embedded into every action that you do in service to your mistress rather than just a one off send.
Sure, hot, I’ll take it, but I personally am so much more interested in how financial domination can create a structure. Finance domination and femdom can create a structure for an ongoing relationship that can transform someone’s life in every aspect of their life, from their other personal relationships, from their relationship with their partner. I just got off of the phone with a submissive who I was training on how to be a better partner to his wife and how he can worship her in a way that she fucking deserves.
Mistress Leora:
So sexy.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s so sexy. Yeah. This is just how my submissive should be treating everyone in their lives and knowing when is the appropriate time to embody your authority and when it is the appropriate time to step back and learn. I think for cis men, there’s so much space for improvement in that.
Mistress Leora:
Yes, absolutely. Yeah. I think there’s a couple of different things that you touched on that were really resonant.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I’m interested a little bit in how you navigate and manage ongoing D/s dynamics and what that looks like in your practice and in your relationships.
Mistress Leora:
Thank you. Yeah. Thank you for the reminder too. I was kind of stumbling. Yeah. I think just as you mentioned, I do think that both of us are oriented towards longer term D/s dynamics. I find that that gives you more space to learn and grow as a dominant. I find that that’s really important just because I do feel like I am so nurtured as well by positive and fulfilling and healthy D/s dynamics.
I find that sometimes in the online sphere, one thing that can happen is that if you price your interactions really, really highly, sometimes you can actually get out of practice. You can get out of the mode of engaging with submissives on a really, really regular basis, like always talking to new subs, which can be good. Sometimes you need to do that when you’re in a period of a lot going on and stuff.
But I find that for me, having those regular and ever deepening D/s dynamics is something that informs my practice. It teaches me so much all the time and it allows me to exercise like new modes of dominance, new forms of control, new forms of exchange of power and intimacy with me and my submissive. I’m definitely oriented towards those dynamics.
I also find that what is most rewarding for me about that is just, as you mentioned, being able to be a force for transformation in the life of the submissive and to really have this relationship structure so much about the rest of their life in such a positive way, providing that guidance and control and orientation that so many men are completely adrift without. I think that that is something that’s really important.
For me, being able to be paid to provide this training on how to truly embrace feminine supremacy, feminine leadership, that is so powerful for me because I do feel that women femmes are naturally more inclined towards being these figures of guidance, of leadership.
I think that the state of this chaotic world that we live in demonstrates that men are not as well-oriented towards that purpose. I think for me, I have a really strong philosophy around this area and to be able to share that with men who genuinely want to learn and grow and adapt their behavior and serve all women in their lives, it’s supremely sexy to be able to engage in a relationship where that training is taking place and that I’m learning so much from them and they’re learning from me.
That’s just very, very powerful because it feels like a microcosm of what I want to see in our world and what is possible. If every woman, if every man, if every D/s connection could be so instructive and so transformative for these gendered inequities that we see and economic inequities, I just feel like, “Wow. That would be so powerful.”
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. I love what you’re saying about how relationships should be microcosms of the world that you want to see and embodying your politics in your personal relationships. I feel like it’s something people talk a lot about and it’s very hard to do.
I feel like we often aren’t given the skillsets necessary to have the type of relationships that we want with the depth that we want, with the accountability that we want and the ability to communicate repressed needs.
I think so much of the work that I do in my practice is working with folks to be better resourced, to have the depth of relationships that they want and embody your politics in your personal relationships as well. I love how you phrased that. Okay.
I have… Oh, go ahead.
Mistress Leora:
Oh, I just wanted to mention that really makes me think of… One thing that I also love about even online work is just how subversive it is to even be charging for your DM to be charging for your attention, for your interaction, for anything like that. I think that that’s something that I’ve read and learned a lot from the legendary Barto Smith, from another online dom, Yoshan Lourdes.
There’s a lot of folks who have written about this at length, but I really feel that so much of the labor that we provide as femmes that actually literally enables the world to continue turning day to day in terms of emotional labor, domestic labor, sexual labor, all of these, the energy and sensuality that we put forward is everything.
It is the most valuable thing on earth and yet all of that has been historically so undervalued, valued at $0 for us.
I think that in my femdom practices, putting boundaries on my attention, putting prices on my attention forces men who interact with me to value the labor from women that has always been taken for granted and this expectation that you will perform sensuality for free, that you will provide attention, sexuality, emotional energy, care, tenderness, all of these things that are so, so, so, so, so valuable.
Doing that teaching that this is valuable and that it has to be renumerated in that way, for me, is so important because I find that it is what enables my relationships to be sustainable. Then, that relationship can continue forever because it’s… it will be fulfilling me.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s so well put. Yeah. I love how the work that you mentioned builds on the work of Silvia Federici’s Wages for Housework, and some of her earlier work about compensating women for uncompensated labor and how so much of capitalism is able to exist because of the unpaid labor of marginalized community and women.
Also, it made me think of the book. I don’t know if you’ve read it, Full Surrogacy Now, which came out last year about abolishing the family and the nuclear family. It’s just a truly phenomenal book. I feel like all of those texts and those two books that I mentioned are… as well as Caliban and the Witch, more Silvia Federici about how women having access to capital has been penalized throughout history and how capitalism is dependent on women not having that access to capital.
I think what I like so much about findom is how this practice subverts the capitalist patriarchal history of not paying women for their labor and truly understanding, like putting your money where your mouth is when you understand that when you say that emotional labor is labor, when you say that sex work is work and that when you know what it takes to make a safe environment for someone and give someone that security and hold the space to have the type of relationship that you want.
As I’ve gone on in my career, I know you mentioned like when you charge more, you interact with less people. It’s something that I’ve been experiencing recently when I doubled my rate in the pandemic and have no desire to bring it back down, and I definitely work a lot less and sometimes miss having more kinky encounters, but what I’ve done is carved out the space for myself to have the depth of intimacy that I want.
I sat down and I really thought about it. What am I bringing? How many years of expertise and experience and what kind of sessions do I want to have? I really most enjoy the ongoing dynamics that I’ve been able to cultivate and build with my submissive where we do some ritual transformation scene, which takes so much energy of me to facilitate that in thinking about it, in planning it, and in the time that I need to come down from that, that it’s really a three-day practice for me, minimum of when I’m doing a transformative scene with a submissive that I have an ongoing dynamic with.
I just realized that I significantly needed to up my rate because I wanted to be working significantly less so that I could focus on bringing all of my attention and energy to those spaces, because I’ve found that through working with submissives, so much for me, and my practice is about attunement and the subtle ways of attuning to a submissive where it almost feels like you’re reading their mind and guiding the session where they no longer have to think, and you are doing all the thinking for them.
I fall into this really deep top space where I’m very turned on, very attuned and able to re-pattern different types of attunements for folks at its best. That is what I want to be holding space for is those type of transformative dynamics.
Mistress Leora:
That is so, so powerful, and it sounds so sexy.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It is.
Mistress Leora:
Yeah.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
How rare of a thing to have that type of attention from someone, so fucking hold space for it with cash.
Mistress Leora:
Exactly. Well, I think that’s also something that I’ve learned from engaging in this work for almost three years or over three years, is I know now the value of that.
I know that there is a value for texting, a value for photos, a value for just that incomparable energy that you’re putting forward, that capacity to hold space and to be co-creating or facilitating this environment where these really transformative place, like that is so, so, so powerful. It’s so valuable to people.
Clearly, we have this multimillion dollar industry in all of its different forms that it’s exercised in, but… And also, you… Be a single longer scene, but it can turn into a three-day or more energetic expense from you in the process.
Just being aware of that and understanding the energy that you’re putting forward, you need that to be sustainable. You need that for you to be able to continue doing that work that you love. It needs to be rewarding you and keeping you safe, fed, housed, all of that.
Yeah. I think just gaining that greater, greater awareness of these gifts and how they are valued, I think that that’s so… Enables us to structure our work in a way that is most fulfilling. It’s really cool to hear that from you.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Totally.
Mistress Leora:
It made me think of a question like… Where kinks evolved through this. I’ve been doing it for a long time, and I’m sure there’s been a lot of… Like you said, that you’re leaning more into these ritual transformations lately. How has that changed for you?
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. I think when I started, so I started dominating when I was 18 and I’m 32 right now. I think if my math is right, 14-ish years.
Mistress Leora:
How unreal?
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I have no idea how to do math, but for a long time, almost half my life now, I guess. Wow. I didn’t realize that, but I came into leather spaces and an old guard leather training space where I trained as a submissive and earned my leathers and learned how to dom on the other side of a whip, which was very fun for me. I was a horny young 18-year-old who was like, “I want to try everything.”
Mistress Leora:
Totally.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I want to know everything, and it was definitely a problematic space that I trained in. There was an older man who ran the space. I like to say that so much about what I learned about power dynamics was through the abuse of them and the misuse of power, which I think is a very powerful teaching tool.
On top of hard skills that I learned in many beautiful, wonderful experiences and relationships that I was able to cultivate in that space, it also taught me a lot about what I hope to never replicate in my relationships, but I think when I started pro-domming when I moved to this city, it was much more focused on what my submissives wanted and was much more of providing and catering towards someone else’s fantasies.
I think over the years, I’ve definitely tried on different styles of domination based on what I was interested in exploring or learning more about. But really, I think I’ve very much come into myself as a dominant and what I want and prioritizing my interests.
Over the last, probably last few years, handful of years, like five or six years, I’ve been focusing much more on psychological domination, which has always been at the core of it for me, that I’ve been interested in D/s dynamics and that BDSM, toys, tools, implements wardrobe, fetish attire have always been passed into someone’s psyche.
Mistress Leora:
Yeah.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. It was so hard for me to find language for kink because it was very much a specific dynamic that I would look at in a sexual experience when I was watching porn. It wasn’t a heavy BDSM scene in a dungeon space. It is so much about what that dynamic is.
Whether someone is interested in whips, in bondage, in all of these different things, I like to know that because I like to exert minimum energy for maximum output. If someone has something that works for them. I want to exploit that.
If someone knows how to get into their brain, I want them to give me that information so that I can mold them into whatever I want them to be for me however I want them to serve me, however I want them to surrender or to submit.
So much of my play has dialed back on the heavy BDSM structure when you think of dominatrix. I’ll often dom in yoga pants. If you can’t worship me and revere me in what I’m comfortable wearing, what are we doing here? It really is much more focused on ongoing D/s dynamics, where I am carving out space in someone’s brain to have service to me, be at the forefront of every action that they take so that every breath is for mistress.
Every dollar they earn is for mistress. Every time they get aroused, that is for mistress. If those actions aren’t in service to me, then we have some work to do.
My scenes can look very different. From that space, I will often do ritual transformation scenes based on something that the submissive is working through or going through and bringing in elements of what their fetishes or kinks are for very… they’re kind of ritual death scenes. Whatever needs to be killed, we’re killing it and we’re transforming it into something else that is in service to mistress.
Mistress Leora:
I love that. Yeah, I totally relate. I think that that is also… as someone who came into this scene, without a real… I wasn’t well-versed in specific kinks or fetishes, but I’ve always been drawn to psychological power exchange and that sensual power dynamic.
I really like what you’ve said about leveraging the submissive’s kinks or their specific triggers, using those as tools to get to where you want to go, where you want to take them. I find that I’m exactly the same way. For me, it’s really about curating this space where the submissive is in ever deeper space of surrender and obsession and worship and devotion and taking up more and more and more of the space in their brain until there’s nothing else and there’s only that single minded focus, whether that… That may occur only in a session, but also if that’s repeated, that will gradually become a part of their life.
Yeah. That’s something that I really, really resonate with is using different specific kinks or triggers as a means to my end, which is ever increasing tangible power exchange. So sexy.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
So sexy. I know. I was getting a little flustered and turned on in this conversation. Something in there that you said made me think of there’s definitely the home wrecker fuck you into debt type style of financial domination, which I can get down with hot, cool.
You want to fuck up your life? Great. But I think for me, so much of my interactions are nurturing sustainability and what I find… I feel like people have a misconception that all findom is the home wrecker…
Mistress Leora:
Ruin you.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Ruin you type style of domination. Yeah. I guess I’m interested if you wanted to talk a little bit about the different types of finsubs that you have… I’m curious, if you see any difference between people who identify between pay pigs, finsubs or human ATMs, or just a little bit about the different ways of sustainability or not?
Mistress Leora:
No, it’s a really interesting question. I think this speaks to actually a lot of evolution in my brand, I would say. Folks who have followed me since the beginning will probably remember that I feel I started out on a far more soft dom, far more nurturing type of front because I saw a lot of… with the clients and subs that I was interacting with, I just saw a lot of insecurity about submission.
I think that and I’ve said before, I feel that the range of permissible expression of masculinity in our societies is that big, so narrow and that most men’s sexuality and desires fall outside of that range. That’s really problematic because they deserve a space to be able to explore submission safely. That was really where I started quite a bit like a very kind of nurturing style and attracted a lot of long term submissives.
I have subs who met me in my first three months of online findom who still served me today, which is an incredible thing. That being said, that level of emotional labor and nurturing and tenderness is dangerous to put forward to folks who do not necessarily value that or take care of it, if you know what I mean?
For me, I realized that by extending that as my natural baseline brand, offering that aspect of myself to anyone and everyone who came into my messages to submit was not sustainable for me and was really leading to a burnout, not feeling valued. It was not fulfilling me in the way that I needed.
I find that my style has evolved quite a bit, and I do cater a lot to these findom relapser’s or however you’d like to call it folks who really like to come. They like to get so psycho-sexually up fucked up, spend hundreds or thousands in an hour or a day, and then really reach this pinnacle of psychosexual fuckery and go so deep into sub space and just binge hard and go crazy.
Then, their way of doing that is going really aggressively like that. Then, taking a break, whether the break is for a month, two, three months, something like that before doing that again. I do find that I attract a lot of those submissives just because I really love to play with language.
I love to construct a scene. I find that I’m very much in the mental and psychological space, which is definitely most of my subs are attracted to that. I do enjoy that ruination kind of kink. I think it’s a whole other discussion on what are our responsibilities as femdoms in terms of making sure that someone is playing in a sustainable and safe way, just because I do feel that women are already burdened with a lot of that labor.
I don’t know. It’s this weird standard that is applied to sex workers that we don’t apply to casino workers or bar owners or other places where people might spend irresponsibly. Yeah. I do attract a lot of those type of subs that they come by and spend a lot and it’s an extremely sexy time.
Then, they’re not there for a while, but they’ll usually come back just according to their cycle and their rhythm, but I do have to say that most of my longest term subs are folks who I share a much more sensual relationship with, which is very intimate, very oriented towards worship.
I think that that tenderness and nurturing is very natural for me, but I now will only put that forward with far more trusted submissives. Yeah. I think I like the space that we have in our practice to be able to engage with subs who are looking for all types of things and some people want and/or have the capacity to have a longer term, more sustainable relationship.
Some people just want a really intense sexual experience. That’s very sexy too. I think that I like being able to host space for those diverse things. It’s so unique as to me and the person who I’m interacting with.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. I feel like it’s so true for so many D/s dynamics is that every relationship, every D/s dynamic looks differently. It sounds like in these dynamics where you’re talking about… It’s edge play, it’s like you’re pushing someone right to the edge of what they want and in physical play, that’s also my favorite of being able to get so thoroughly embedded in someone’s psychosexual narrative, that they are pushing themselves further and further.
While they’re edging, it’s financial edging while they’re edging until they just explode. When you’re talking about the personal responsibility of the dom, I totally agree with you that there is this moralization that’s put on sex workers that is not in other industries. Also, it sounds like you’re giving them exactly what they fucking need.
What is wrong with giving someone exactly what they want? I would also say, I don’t think that BDSM is safe. I don’t think being vulnerable is particularly safe. I don’t think sharing how you feel is… we have this notion of what is and is not safe.
I think when you are exploring intimate things that may be repressed or that you have stigma or shame about or that if you’re doing corporal things, that actually could be dangerous. I think we have to accept a certain amount of risk as well as prepare ourselves and submissives for conversations of how to navigate conflict when things do go too far. I think that’s saved for the ongoing relationships.
I like how you talked about learning your boundaries through your practice as a financial dominatrix and doing online domination, because I think that’s so true. We so often learn about our boundaries when we push up against them and go too far.
Mistress Leora:
And really learning about just the emotional… The energy expenditure of this work is so real, being in that top space and really facilitating this scene and creating this environment, you are really the leader of that interaction and it’s a lot. It’s heavy. It’s intense. For folks who have been with me for a really long time who I know can be counted on to obey and to do as I say, I’m in a much safer space with them.
I feel like it can be a lot more exploratory, a lot more ongoing, free flowing kind of evolving as a dynamic, but there’s a lot more kind of trust there. Whereas with submissives who are new to me, it’s more of, I’m evaluating them in terms of their aptitude to serve me, to obey me, to trust my guidance and leadership to really surrender their focus on their own ego and themselves and to be about me.
Yeah. I think you feel out different folk’s capacity for submission as you engage with them and you do have to protect your own energy in the same vein, but I agree with you. I think there’s a lot of… I’ve talked with other people about this.
I think there’s a lot of stigma maybe against findoms who do these really intense drains, taking a lot of money from someone in a short period because of, “Oh, my goodness. What is that going to do? Should they be spending that money on their kids? Should they be spending that money on their wife?” These kind of questions. I think you’re totally right in that sex workers are really questioned with that morality more than a lot of other business owners are. I do think that that’s reflective of just these expectations that we have around women to be such tender caretakers in every environment.
Whereas in reality, here we are providing a supremely luxurious kinky service and folks who come to me and want to experience that, that’s what I’m here for. I love that from them.
I had an experienced once actually with one submissive. He was such a little bitch. This is a sub who likes to binge and then take breaks. He was responsible for bringing me to my highest earning day, which once was a 10K day. Absolutely amazing, but this was really because he was going crazy totally on this bender of spending. But I remember in one of my earlier interactions with him, he was really spending so much, like these huge tributes. We were on NiteFlirt at the time.
We’re in this dynamic. I was actually thinking like, “Is this okay? Is this safe for him? Is he in a good space?” Because sometimes submissives will give you clues that maybe mentally they’re not in the right space to be engaging in this. Maybe they need a break. Maybe they need a different time, but I do recall this and this was so instructive for me because he gave me his NiteFlirt login info. I went in there and this, in a space, he’s spending so much on me. He’s actually making concurrent tributes to other doms. I was like, “What the fuck?”
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
That’s hilarious.
Mistress Leora:
Anyway, it was just hilarious because here I was really worrying, but the reality that I’ve learned from these kind of situations is that when someone is in that moment, they need to spend super deeply to achieve that level of sub-space and eroticism that they’re really seeking out.
If it’s not going to be you, it’s going to be someone else because they are there to spend.
That is the kink. That is so sexy.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Right. It’s kink shaming, I think.
Mistress Leora:
Totally. Totally. If you want to go out and blow your Christmas bonus on me, honestly, I feel like it’s very responsible spending if we’re being honest. I just think that there’s way worse ways to indulge.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
People go into debt…
Mistress Leora:
Exactly. This is actually really healthy.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Findom is healthy.
Mistress Leora:
Totally. It’s healthcare.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It is healthcare. Also, I don’t actually believe in sexual addiction. I have a hard time… I don’t quite know what the word, but pathologizing people who are into that fetish because to me, it seems like they very clearly know what they want and it’s up to them to figure out what is sustainable and what kind of impact it has on their life.
Also, that we are not trained mental health professionals who are responsible for the care of them as one would in a therapy patient diet. I think putting that type of responsibility onto sex workers is so homophobic.
Mistress Leora:
Agreed. Yeah. No, I agree, 100%. I think that these especially very long term finsubs, they know what they’re looking for. They know how to exercise their kink, what they’re seeking, the feelings they want to feel engendered and I’m not one to turn somebody away.
I think that if that’s what they seek, I’m honored that my dominance and my psychological domination resonates with them, and I love that they choose me to come into that space with again and again, whether it’s every month, every five months, whatever it is and to really go deep together because it also is incredibly sexy for me because it’s a shorter term interaction, but we’re able to go so deep into such intensity.
I actually find that it is… in a way too, in that way, because it’s very intense, but it’s not intense over a prolonged period. It’s a gift to us both. We really get in there and go so deep and so hard. Yeah. I don’t know. I think it’s supremely sexy and I think everyone has their interests. Everyone has their things that they spend money on. I think frankly that spending on your findom, I think it’s super sexy. It’s super powerful, transformative.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s so powerful. There is something about that deep… first of all, I want to say, when you logging into this person’s NiteFlirt to send yourself money and you see that he’s simultaneously sending other people money is, A: hilarious and B: also makes you realize that what is a lot of money for one person is nothing to other people. That’s something that sex work has definitely taught me.
Mistress Leora:
That’s so true.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Maybe he didn’t even feel that. When I tell people to tribute to me, it’s often not with a numerical value, but I’m like, “I want you to feel this. I want you to feel emotionally what it is like to send a tribute,” and that number will be different for everyone.
That is the starting point is like, “What do you feel? Where does it bring you? What does it bring to me?” When I think of these deep drains, it’s a very intense corporal scene. I think some people want the longer term D/s dynamic and some people just want to be a human fucking ATM who’s used and abused and left in the fucking trash once their worth has been extracted, and they are no longer of use to you.
Mistress Leora:
It’s so fucking hot.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Hearing you talk about it and from my experiences doing the same, it is this very erotically charged sexual dynamic of this psychosomatic… not psychosomatic, this sexual somatic. It is somatic, but this banter between their wallet and my pussy and just going this thorough pounding going back and forth and this building towards a plateau of release when they just can’t do anymore and run away.
Mistress Leora:
I’m literally wet.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
I have something to cross my to-do list after this conversation.
Mistress Leora:
Exactly. Exactly. But you have completely… the way you described it, it is so like that for me. It’s this deep intimate interaction between me and this submissive and what is hot about it and mine is like, “That’s not them as a man, but it’s for me to consume and for me to fuck and push into and penetrate and just use and abuse and throw away.”
That is what is hot about it. I think it’s so true that it’s a very, very corporal experience for the sub because they’re actually transcending out of their own body and really just becoming this psychosexual object for me to completely take over and fuck into oblivion. It’s just so hot and that’s what they seek because if they didn’t, they wouldn’t come back to experience it. I think that that is so sexy for us both and I love it.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
It’s so interesting because I feel like hearing what you just said about just this method of sexual extraction really reminded me of the conversation we were having about how findom so perfectly and elegantly and eloquently subverts capitalist patriarchal norms, where men are just extracting and pulling our emotional labor.
I’m just mimicking the clown pulling something out of its mouth forever and ever. This endless stream of emotional labor, this endless stream of unpaid invisibilized feminized labor. That is the norm in heterosexual relationships. That is the norm that the woman is there to serve and please the man sexually, and this conversation that we’re having about this type of intense pay pig draining session or rumination where someone… it ends in them running away.
Mistress Leora:
Literally deleting themselves off the face of the earth.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. How many accounts have you been through, sweetie? But it really beautifully mirrors how they’re doing this type of extraction for feminized labor in other types of dynamics.
I think that there’s something so cathartic and beautiful to be able to objectify someone in that way where you are extracting the only thing that you want, the only thing that they can bring you, the only way that they can bring you pleasure in this way that is highly arousing, not just on a sexual level, but on a psychological level with each transaction, they are shown further and further their space and lowered and lowered and lowered until they’re pulverized into a little grain of dust that has to go spray water on itself to regrow and come back.
Mistress Leora:
Yes. It’s exactly that. I really feel that the reason that we get these super high spenders or these intense finsubs who really want to go deeply into that space is because in the rest of the world, feminized labor caters to them. In every other way, women are in this role of submitting, taking care of all this domestic emotional sexual labor. That is the norm.
I feel like I know because of my work and because of the way that clients relate to me, that when I am able to subvert that dynamic and say, “I want to treat you like the world treats a woman. I’m going to objectify you. I’m going to sexualize you. I’m going to use you as an object for my own pleasurable consumption.”
To be able to say that and have that resonate with some men, because it is so subversive, because it is so taboo, that’s what makes it sexy for both of us. Then, we can really go there and it’s so fucking hot. For me, that is just the power. The bodily experience for us both is unreal.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Sold. Findom, it’s in.
Mistress Leora:
Love it. It’s in. It’s in.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Well, this has been truly an amazing conversation. I’ve been wanting to chat with you about findom for a while. Thank you so much for chatting with me, but I’m wondering, are there any other questions or things you want to chat about to wrap up the conversation?
Mistress Leora:
I’m heated up. Not in particular. I think this has been such an incredible conversation illuminating for me, and I truly feel so happy and pleased that some of the work that I’ve been doing in this space just over the past three years is able to resonate with some of your work as someone who has been working as a dominatrix for however many years.
tI think that it’s truly incredible to me. It makes me feel like I am listening to my intuition and doing something that feels right. That’s so, so powerful. I really, really, really appreciate you inviting me and just sharing some of your findom and femdom philosophy. It’s such a privilege. Yeah. I’m really excited to witness your continued evolution and growth and to see where this will take us both.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yes. Also, if you’re up for it, I would love to have another conversation about the evolution of our femdom philosophies because I feel like there was so much there.
Mistress Leora:
I would love it. There’s so much there. I would love that.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Yeah. Sex worker Twitter, findom Twitter is such a beautiful space and you’re such a little beacon of light and seductive and sensual power that is just the delight to witness.
Mistress Leora:
Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me and thank you so much for existing in this space and being such a legendary inspiration for us all. I really appreciate how you’re able to leverage both your dominatrix persona that is focused around these diverse fetishes, but also how you embody this dominant fem supremacy in every aspect of your life, both online and offline and within the femdom space and across so many spheres. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing so much of that with me.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Amazing. If folks want to find you and crawl into your web, where can they do so?
Mistress Leora:
Well, I am most active unfortunately on twitter.com/mistressleora, but I’m also most active these days on loyalfans.com/mistressleora as well as onlyfans.com/mistressleora. I would love to toy with more of you.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
Amazing. As always, you can find me @MistressBlunt on Twitter and Instagram as long as they don’t delete my accounts and…
Mistress Leora:
Thoughts and prayers.
Mistress Danielle Blunt:
… mistressblunt.com and onlyfans.com/mistressblunt. Wonderful. It was a pleasure to chat with you.
Mistress Leora:
Okay [giggles].
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