One of my submissives is in a female-led relationship (FLR). He is married to his Domme and she sends him to me once a month to whip him into shape. Naturally, I thought it would be fun to interview both him and his dominant wife.
You can read part one, where I interview Pretty in Pink, the submissive cuckold, here.
In part two, you’ll meet Pretty in Pink’s dominant wife. We talk about kink during COVID-19, service-oriented submissives, and the realities of cuckolding.
Mistress Blunt: So, Pretty in Pink has just swapped spots with his wife. I’m so happy to chat with you. We’ve met once in passing at a party, but we’ve never really had a chance to chat.
Dominant Wife: Yeah, yeah, it’s nice to see you.
Mistress Blunt: It’s nice to see you, too. I would love it if you could tell me a little bit about yourself and your relationship with Pretty in Pink.
Dominant Wife: We met at a party. We were friends at first but of course, I fell in love with him, but one of the things, as you can imagine, that was intriguing to me is that though he never talked about sex or his sex life or his sexuality, he seemed to have an interesting and intense sexuality to me.
Mistress Blunt: How could you tell that?
Dominant Wife: You know, I don’t know exactly. You know most straight men don’t find sexuality or ideas about it very intellectually interesting, you know? They don’t engage in…
Mistress Blunt: …theory unless they’re perverse?
Dominant Wife: Yeah, I find they don’t have the intellectual capacity to have ideas about that if they just have a normative sexuality. I mean, this is just my observation as somebody who is always interested in talking about it. And he was always up for the conversation and had read widely in psychoanalysis and… I don’t know. I was just like, “Pervert.”
Mistress Blunt: Spotted! You got pervert vibes from him.
Dominant Wife: Yeah. Well early in our relationship, a lesbian acquaintance of mine, having met him for just a few hours, was like, “I really like him. Queer in some sense.” And I said, “Yes.” That was pretty much it.
So I think I picked up on something and then eventually… When we did start to have a more explicitly sexual relationship, he did let me know a little bit about what he was into and I was so intrigued. Because I hadn’t actually had a relationship like that. So the very first time we slept together, he asked me to put nipple clamps on him and it was so fun.
His submissive abjection was so charming and very sexy to me, but I wasn’t very surprised by it. Even though I wasn’t very familiar. I didn’t have a lot of lingo or familiarity with BDSM at that point, but I just wasn’t surprised. I was just like, “I knew it.”
Mistress Blunt: It made sense. The pieces fell together.
Dominant Wife: It just made sense. There was just something about him.
Mistress Blunt: And I think that’s so interesting, too, that he is the submissive who was sort of like, “Oh, will you do this for me?” And now it seems like you really enjoy it and it’s a large part of your relationship.
Dominant Wife: Absolutely. When he’s in a better, happier state, he does a lot of organizing from the bottom, but it’s definitely very much something we’re both into now. But I would not say that I resisted it. I was very intrigued. I will say that at every turn that… I mean, this is where he is a little bit of a top from the bottom, because at every turn he’s escalated it.
I will usually resist it at first. Like, years ago, he started learning about cuckolding as a thing, which I had never heard of as a fun practice. And when he first introduced it, I thought, “That sounds so fun, but I really don’t think you’re going to like that as much as you think.” It just seemed so improbable that that could actually work and be fun. Especially from the man’s side… I just didn’t really believe it… or I was just not really buying it.
So it was one of those things that I would just treat it as, “Oh, that’s a fun fantasy.” Like, “I’ll talk to you about that.” And he’d be like, “No, but really.” I just didn’t buy it. So it took us a couple years… maybe not that long. But he was smart because he knew I had this very sexy friend, a long-time friend who I had had a very sweet and sexy affair with when he was 21 and I was a big old lady of 26.
And we had stayed good friends. And Pretty in Pink liked him a lot and luckily there was something. And he was like, “I just think it would be fun. You two. I would be really into it.” But I was like, “I just don’t think that you’re really going to like this.” I did sort of want to be convinced because it’s fun.
Mistress Blunt: You’re like, “Oh, I don’t know… but convince me.”
Dominant Wife: Yeah exactly. So we did try that and, as anticipated, he did not like it and was very upset.
Mistress Blunt: I always joke with him that he’s complicit in his own undoing.
Dominant Wife: He was very distressed and I didn’t have enough Domme wherewithal at that point to be like, “No, you just have to suck this up.” So, I felt bad. I was like, “Oh, of course he doesn’t like it.” But he was like, “No. I shouldn’t just make it all about me. And I think maybe I would like it if we stuck with it.”
There was this uneasy period around it. But then it really deepened the hierarchy in a fun way. Because I think previously it had been more of just a sexual practice where I would do various fun things to him, but the cuckolding consciousness on both sides is really interesting and I think that it made much more of a Domme out of me… and much more of a submissive out of him. It really gave way to a lot more service.
Mistress Blunt: And I think, too, thinking of him specifically… the ego part… I feel like cuckolding must do beautiful things to that inflated ego of his.
Dominant Wife: Exactly, exactly. Well, and this is why he’s such a fun submissive. I can’t really imagine getting this with a lot of people because he has such a, as you say, inflated ego or extremely robust ego… You know it’s hard to say what is an inflated ego. Everybody should have a robust sense of their own worth and ideas. But he certainly does. And that makes it so fun to bring that under control.
Mistress Blunt: I wouldn’t want to top someone who is not my equal in some way, especially intellectually. So I think that it definitely… You are actually then lowering someone.
Dominant Wife: Exactly. I wouldn’t want to be in a situation where somebody really believed that I was their superior. In fact, I kind of don’t like that. You know sometimes you beat men who correctly think you’re their superior, and that’s not that interesting.
Mistress Blunt: And I think there’s a matter of earning it, too, to some extent. Or challenging and playing with where the power is falling intentionally.
Dominant Wife: Yeah. But I think that the experience of submissiveness is so much more intense for him because of his robust ego.
Mistress Blunt: Yes. Femdom is very effective for him.
Dominant Wife: It’s very effective. The cuckolding really strikes at that in just the right way because it’s almost a cliché of something that would be humiliating to men, like in a funny way.
Mistress Blunt: It works.
Dominant Wife: It does, it works. And it’s almost funny that it works on him because he’s so unconventional, but it does.
Mistress Blunt: How would you describe your relationship? Is it largely a female-led relationship? How do the D/s dynamics play out in the relationship?
Dominant Wife: Well, I would say, unfortunately, recently it’s less this way because there’s just a lot of things muting our intensity right now.
Mistress Blunt: Yeah.
Dominant Wife: But under ideal circumstances or better circumstances than this, then I would say that day-to-day it’s not that I’m making the really important decisions for the household… we’re definitely making those together and there are many I would trust him to make, but on a day-to-day level, I’ll be asking him to do little things.
Mistress Blunt: So there is some of that dynamic in the day-to-day?
Dominant Wife: Yeah there is definitely some aspect of that. And the better it is, the more of that there is. So, ideally, he’s making me coffee or if friends are over, especially friends who are in on it, but not even necessarily, I’ll be like…
Mistress Blunt: There’s a nod. It’s understood.
Dominant Wife: Yeah. And so I would say it’s on the day-to-day servicing stuff. I feel that stuff’s really nice for incorporating it into day-to-day without having too much drama about whether it’s really real or not.
Mistress Blunt: Right, I get that.
Dominant Wife: You know what I mean? It can be frustrating when you get into ambiguous terrain of “is this roleplay or is it serious?”
Mistress Blunt: I totally get that.
Dominant Wife: And with the service stuff, you never get into it. It’s obviously not important and yet it is important. It’s important in that it makes you both feel that things are a certain way, but it’s not important in the sense of, “I decided to spend $5,000 without asking you.” Which is a level of top that I just don’t really aspire to because I do want us to basically be equals.
Mistress Blunt: Right and it feels like there’s a difference between reinforcing the D/s relationship and making life decisions like that. You want a partner to make those decisions with.
Dominant Wife: Right. And at the same time, it’s interesting because he will… in good times, he will definitely continue to try to escalate things.
Mistress Blunt: Always escalating, that one.
Dominant Wife: Always escalating. He’s always wanting things to be a little bit more.
Mistress Blunt: Do you think he enjoys not liking certain things?
Dominant Wife: Yep.
Mistress Blunt: Yep.
Dominant Wife: Absolutely.
Mistress Blunt: That’s the escalator.
Dominant Wife: And he does enjoy not liking certain things. So I have a lover who Pretty in Pink really enjoys his dislike of.
Mistress Blunt: I believe I might have heard about him.
Dominant Wife: I’m sure that you have. It’s very funny. It’s been going on a long time, but in the first couple years of it, it would stress me out… his dislike of the situation… I would feel like, “Maybe this is not really going to work.” And sometimes his dislike of the situation seems so sincere and again, I didn’t want to be getting into that terrain of he’s really the submissive who makes no important decisions. So continuing to have this relationship that he didn’t seem to enjoy… I felt conflicted.
And so there was always this ambiguity about it. After a couple years… as you’re probably getting the idea, everything moves kind of slowly for us… After a couple of years, it just became clear that there was something that he really enjoyed about it and that he had not just made his peace with it, but actually liked that it was so much my decision.
So sometimes in the past, in the cases where it’s been a cute guy of obviously homoerotic charm or appeal, Pretty in Pink will often get really into it. But this is so not that. The guy is great in so many ways, but significantly less handsome than Pretty in Pink. Like objectionably. There’s just lots of reasonable criticisms you could make of him which…
Mistress Blunt: I feel that could play into the dynamic even more.
Dominant Wife: It does and it’s kind of funny. But, again in good times, we come to a real enjoyment of it where that’s what’s hot about it: it’s inexplicable to you. “It’s inexplicable to you and the Mistress is going to do what she pleases.”
Mistress Blunt: I had an experience where my ex, who was my cuckold, was used as the “bull” in a cuckolding situation with another Domme and it made me feel so powerful. I was like, “That’s fun.”
Dominant Wife: Yeah, that is fun.
Mistress Blunt: That was great for me.
Dominant Wife: It also just places you at the top of this pyramid, which is also beautiful.
Mistress Blunt: I love it, yeah. I feel like you’ve sent Pretty in Pink to see me or he’s come to see me before some of your dates with this person. I’m curious if you could talk a little bit about your husband seeing dominatrixes throughout the relationship. What is this like for you and what is it like sending him?
Dominant Wife: I don’t think that we’ve been as conscious about it with other dominatrixes. I think that when he’s gone to others, it’s because he feels like it… he’ll make the plan. But in this case, we do often make the timing work. A lot of it is amplified and makes the most of that because then he’s going to be extra cuckolded a series of times around it. That’s just going to be more fun and make more use of my one date.
Mistress Blunt: Yeah, you can sort of elongate the excitement for it. Turn it into foreplay.
Dominant Wife: It makes more because the day is, of course, really fun in itself… on its own merits, but there’s just so much more fun to be had than just the thing itself.
Mistress Blunt: Right. The tease is part of the game as well.
Dominant Wife: And even under good times, I only see that person once a month. So it’s fun to make the most of it in that way. And I also find it’s a lot less fun if I have a date and I haven’t really gotten him into that cuckoldy space because then he’s still cranky about it or a little bit low-key bitchy.
Dominant Wife: Yeah or making fun of my date more than I want him to.
Mistress Blunt: It helps lubricate the process of his submission.
Dominant Wife: Right. But if he doesn’t really get into it, the submissive space around it, it’s not going to be as much fun. And so I find that definitely if he goes to see you and you taunt him about it, then that also gives me a greater sense of fun about it.
And then he’ll be much more submissive in greeting me when I come home. It has more, what is the term? The sort of banal term is a ripple effect, but I feel there’s a more fun phrase for that.
Mistress Blunt: Yeah, I get what you’re saying. I feel like thinking about an orgasm sort of has that similar ripple effect where it’s not just the climax, but everything leading up to and after.
Dominant Wife: Exactly.
Mistress Blunt: That’s so interesting. I also love the idea of him just outside of the door, just thinking about what we’re talking about… it’s very fun to think about. I’m sure he’s thinking some thoughts.
Dominant Wife: Hell yes.
Mistress Blunt: Well I want to be respectful of time, so I’m going to just ask if there’s anything you wanted to close out with, that you wanted to include… or any other thoughts.
Dominant Wife: Just it’s really fun to think about this with you, especially in these times where it’s been a little harder to lead our usually kinky life. We’ve realized we’re perhaps a little bit too dependent on the cuckold situations to influence the whole picture.
So that’s one part of it. But the other part of it is he’s just very depressed because it’s a global pandemic and the world is in a very depressing…
Mistress Blunt: Yeah, well I hope this inspires some creative kink. He’s definitely thinking about what we’re talking about and loves the attention. Thank you for chatting with me about this. It’s always so fun to be able to chat with people who come to see me’s partners… and having partners send them to me is always just really fun.
Dominant Wife: Yeah, well thank you.
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