I had the pleasure of sitting down with Rebecca Madison where we discussed virtual doming, men buying us property, etiquette on Only Fans, and how we’re doing in quarantine.
Danielle Blunt: Hello, my name is Danielle Blunt. Some of you might know me as Mistress Blunt and I’m here today with Rebecca Madison. Would you please introduce yourself?
Rebecca Madison: Hi, everyone. I am Rebecca Madison and I am an OnlyFans creator. So, I have a background in in-person sex work, but I only do online performing right now and I’m really happy to be here for this interview. So, thank you so much for having me on.
Danielle Blunt: Oh, it’s my pleasure. And I think what made me first reach out to want to speak to you was a tweet that I was seeing about something in relationship to Bratz and Femba. Do you remember the tweet that I’m talking about?
Rebecca Madison: I think I do, yeah. A friend of mine online had been starting a conversation about branding and I think I had written that I wish that I could feel more free to experiment with my brand without worrying about pushing away people who already liked me. Because I was noticing that I wanted to explore this more bratty side that talked more about wanting to be spoiled and wanting to talk more about money and just some of that type of discussion that I had seen other sex workers do. But more in the financial dominations space, not so much in a regular girlfriend experience performer type of place. And that was the comment I had left and then that seemed to catch your eye, so I’m free to talk about that.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. I think what’s so interesting about that, for me, is that conversations about money can either be erotisized or really rough territory to navigate with clients and that also the desire to be spoiled and cared for, I feel like there is a lot of archetypes of the dom demanding devotion and spoiling and you only get to interact with me if you meet X, Y, and Z standards. But I think that there’s also something really powerful about a bratty bottom, who’s setting demands as well.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah, and that was something that I kind of was grappling with and started to encounter these really interesting interactions with people because when I said that, I was coming from my own personal desire to want to be spoiled and taken care of and doted on, almost like a little girl, like princess type of thing.
And I didn’t really realize it would be interpreted in another way because I’m not familiar with femdom at all. So, then I started to get these guys coming onto my Twitter wanting to be dominated or wanting a certain kind of interaction and I was like, “I don’t know what to do with you. I don’t know how to do that. That’s not really what I meant.” And that was almost what I mean by, I want to have the space to explore and experiment, but then I kind of accidentally put myself into this territory that I didn’t know anything about, but it’s been fun.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah, it definitely sounds like it’s been fun and I think it’s a matter of finding the language too, because it is you want to keep attracting the type of people who you enjoy seeing or enjoy interacting with on these online platforms, but also wanting to experiment a little bit with who you’re reaching out to and how you’re reaching out to them. And I think it’s very interesting when the fans of Twitter will be like, “Oh, let’s migrate over here and see what’s up.”
Rebecca Madison: Yeah, I really don’t have the language for this and it would be so interesting for me to learn because I have found that since I’ve been talking about it more I have been attracting a type of client that really works for me, where they seem to really get a lot of joy out of spoiling me and they feel, I think, strong and this caretaker part comes out of them. And they really like to hear me say, “Thank you.” Or, “This is what it means to me,” or, “This is what I’m going to do with the money,” Or… The other thing I’ve been talking about a lot is how I’m saving up to buy property. That’s really important to me, so I have someone who will tip me and every tip note will be, “Towards your down payment.” And I think that’s so sweet and I really like it and I think he likes it too and that’s the kind of dynamic that I’m looking for.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. It almost has a type of Daddy Energy in it, to some extent.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah.
Danielle Blunt: Which is so interesting because any kinky act can come from a place of dominance or submissive if you know how to work it. And I feel femdom is seen as something exclusively that a dom would be doing. Or that all interactions relating to money have to do with financial dominations, when in some instances it’s very much like, “I want to support you and take care of you.” And so for myself, I have some people who are into financial domination and I have one submissive who’s just really good, who maxes out my IRA every year. And I’m like, “That’s what makes me feel cared for.”In a very tangible way. It’s like, “I am interested in your long-term security in a way that’s not directly related to my boner and that will still be there, even if I’m not.” And I think that’s the definition of romance to me.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah, it really is… That really resonated with me, everything you just said. And I think it’s so beautiful when people want to take care of me in that way and I think… It’s been interesting to watch the negative reaction to some of how I’ve been experimenting. I’ve been encountering a bit of the “money hungry whore” type of label or stereotype or whatever that is. That’s been a bit irritating, I guess, for me to deal with because I’m not really coming from that place. I’m coming from a place of, it makes me feel safe when I can pay my rent and it makes me feel like I’m going to survive in this world if I can put a down payment down on somewhere that I can have a home. There’s this element of safety and survival that’s all connected to how I want to be taken care of. And in my head, it makes so much sense.
Danielle Blunt: It makes so much sense.
Rebecca Madison: But it comes off as greedy.
Danielle Blunt: Right. And for me, it would be like, Oh, those are people I don’t want to interact with if you see my financial security as greediness.We might have some other issues there. When I feel stable, when I feel financially secure, it opens up so much space for me to explore sexually. Like, the relationships where I have been taken care of in some way, it creates all this space for erotic energy that’s no longer spent on how am I going to pay my rent this month. And I think people really take that for granted. I have different relationships with submissives. I was saying, some who are into financial domination and some who just have a supportive role, and it’s definitely been like, for the ones who have some supportive role but aren’t into financial domination, it’s been very interesting finding the language that works for them. Because people are either really turned on or really turned off by financial domination.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah. I’m seeing that for sure.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. I’m curious. What is some of the, “Money hungry whore” trope, who doesn’t to be compensated for their labor? But I’m wondering what else, good or bad, have you been seeing from that? I love what you’re saying about the someone saying, “For a down payment.”
Rebecca Madison: Yeah, it has been so nice. I get quite a few of my clients will send me a relatively small tip, but then in the tip note, they’ll say what it’s for. So someone will send me $10 and be like, “To go get breakfast,” or “Here’s a treat for you to go get breakfast.” And obviously the OnlyFans payout takes like two weeks from the time I get a tip to the time that money’s in my bank. So I’m not really getting breakfast with that $10, but it’s symbolically, that’s sort of the intent. The intent is I’m showing that I care about you with this gesture that happens to be money and I know that you’ll be able to put it towards taking care of yourself. So I get a lot of really sweet notes that I find really romantic and really cute and they, for me, really strengthen the relationship with those people and they make me look forward to checking their messages and wanting to talk to them, that sort of thing. I forgot what the question was.
Danielle Blunt: I did too, but I think that’s so sweet. My think of romance, I think, yes, who doesn’t want to get a beautiful bouquet of flowers? But those flowers will die and you can also buy me a plant that has roots and that I can water or you can buy me a fucking house. And then I don’t have to think about a lot of other things.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah.
Danielle Blunt: I think I saw your tweet the other night, which was, “I know one of you out there could buy me a house and just isn’t.” And that thought goes through my head so often.
Rebecca Madison: The reason I said that is because, and I want to trend kind of carefully because I don’t want to give any identifying information away. When I was doing in-person work I had a client who was an actual billionaire. And at the time I was charging a very high rate and he paid my rate and he was very good to me. But in the back of my mind, I was always like, “You could change my whole life in the blink of an eye and not even notice.” And of course it’s not his job to go around saving everyone and giving all his money away necessarily to everybody he ever meets. I tried to put myself in his shoes, what is it like to be so wealthy and to have everyone know that you’re so wealthy, people must get really resentful. Even though I walked it through in my brain, I still felt resentful towards him because I knew it would just be nothing to him. So that sort of… I just turned it into a joke with my tweet. Because I know there’s really rich people following me. I know that that is actually possible. I don’t actually think that someone is going to buy me a house, it’s just fun to talk about.
Danielle Blunt: Who knows? I think Twitter is a very powerful form of manifestation and the shit that I tweeted that has come true is wild.
Rebecca Madison: Money is strange. It is strange to have these interactions where sometimes I’m talking to people that I know they’re very wealthy and they’re kind of doling out these little tiny amounts to me. Sometimes I feel I’m being strung along where I have to… Sometimes I feel almost a bit like I’m begging for these crumbs, but at the same time, these crumbs are allowing me to buy food and pay my rent and save. So I’m grateful.
Danielle Blunt: But it’s nothing to them. And it’s always been the wealthiest clients that I’ve had that are the ones to comment on my rate. I remember doing an out-call when I was doing in-person work to someone who had a five story brownstone on Central Park West and we’re walking up the stairs and he was like, “My wife got the better house in the divorce.” And he was like, “So your rate’s pretty high.” And I was like, “That does not seem something you need to concern yourself with.”
He felt entitled to comment on my rate, which also I’m sure a billionaire, and from his background. And it was just really interesting to me, the conversations that we have in community as sex workers, about money and then also with clients because there are some… I also have clients who fund some of the community organizing work that I do, which I’m super appreciative, or let me direct where their charitable giving goes. So it’s going back to sex working community, which I think is one of the most romantic gestures I could receive, but it’s always super wealthy men, usually who grew up with wealth that will try and negotiate my rate.
Rebecca Madison: I’ve countered that. And I’ve also encountered kind of what I would almost consider a carrot dangling with that type of client. I had another very wealthy client who for a time paid me a very high monthly amount to just see me frequently throughout the month. And he had made a comment one time about how he was thinking about how he could change my life. Then sort of hinted that he could buy me an apartment in Vancouver, which was very expensive and would completely change my life. Then we had a falling out when he asked me to move in with him, he was going to pay me double the amount he was paying me, but now I would have to live with him. And I didn’t want to do that, I actually, at the time was living with a partner and he didn’t know I even had a partner. But I was not about to change my life even for any of that. Then when I said, “No, I want to keep things the way they are.” He basically just cut me off and I felt so hurt because he had basically said, “I could totally change your life, but no, I’m not going to.”
Danielle Blunt: Yeah, because there was the expectations or what comes with money, the bonds of money or how people feel, even when people are paying for hourly work, I found they feel entitled to something beyond that time together. Sometimes I navigate my rate when I was doing in-person work to make up for some of that interaction. But yeah, it’s such a manipulative way to have a relationship with money, which is why I think it is like all the more romantic or it’s like, “Here’s the house, I want nothing from you.” That’s maybe the ultimate fantasy. But there is this carrot dangling and it’s something that I’ve found very interesting as having a dominant persona.
Danielle Blunt: I’ve had this conversation with a few clients who were just incredibly manipulative and when I called them out on it, they were basically like, “Well, you’re a dom, so you should have the facility to basically say no when you’re being manipulated.” And I’m like, “I think what you’re missing here is that money is still playing a role in our dynamic and while I might be more financially secure and more dominant than some of the sex workers you’ve seen in the past, the fact that the power dynamic between client and provider, isn’t something that ever came into into their head.”
Rebecca Madison: Yeah, absolutely. It’s hard to talk about too, because of course I understand it is conditional, there are conditions. I’m providing such and such service, you’re providing money and we have an exchange. I think he used the word entitlement, somewhere along the lines I’ve had a lot of encounters where I ended up feeling really dehumanized and it’s almost like, “Oh, I can throw money at you and get whatever I demand and whatever I want regardless of what you want or how you feel.” And it’s so hard to know how to respond to that, other than just not seeing that particular client again. But by then in a way the damage has already been done. And it’s all I think related to this dynamic of this exchange of money, which I don’t really know how to deal with that. It’s something I’ve tried to talk to other workers about and I just never really get anywhere with it.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. I think it’s really tricky. And I think you just learn so much from trial and error of what works for you to feel. It’s like compensating someone for their labor, but also freeing up the time for someone to spend with you. And I’ve also had people see me on a monthly retainer and really what they’re doing is they’re providing me with a life where I don’t have to worry about seeing other clients so that I can be more accessible to them. And I think very few people understand that and then when you are able to have that type of relationship, like the person that you were talking about when they want something that you’re unable to provide or unwilling to provide, they can change your life in either direction is what that person left out of that comment.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah. Definitely.
Danielle Blunt: It’s interesting. And I feel the more I have conversations with clients about money can be really interesting, even though it’s very rocky water to have a conversation. But I’m curious how… I feel like OnlyFans is kind of… I’ve only ever done in-person dominatrix work or in-person like femdom, GFE type work, but it feels there’s an element that I’m missing in my professional abilities that I might’ve learned in a strip club or something like that. Where it’s like, you’re working with a customer and you’re kind of exchanging a dance or photos for cash and then when the song ends, they need to pay up again. And I’m wondering how it’s gone from translating in-person work to working on a website like OnlyFans.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah. Oh, it’s so much more clear with in-person work because it’s like, “Hey, I’m booking you at 6:00 PM for one hour and this is the rate,” and they know that. And then you give the money at the beginning and then you don’t even think about it anymore. But with OnlyFans, I get people who will sign up for the first time and then they’ll immediately send a $50 tip and ask me how I am and we’ll have a little chat and it’ll be awesome. Other times people will sign up and just start talking to me and I’ll talk a little bit and then I’m kind of just politely waiting for them to tip because I expect my time to be compensated for and a lot of the time it just is. So I don’t even have to talk about it. It’s they just know, I guess, because they’ve had the experience with other creators before.
Rebecca Madison: Other times I will mention, if they don’t send a tip or something, I’ll mention, “Hey, just to let you know, I typically chat the most with people who buy my premium content and pay for my time, a tip for my time.” Then a lot of them will be like, “Oh, I’m sorry,” and then they’ll just immediately send something. Other times people will get angry because they’re like, “Well, I sent whatever amount,” and it’s like, Yeah, but… My initial month signup is $5. It’s like, “Did you think you were going to pay $5 and have an hour long conversation with me?”
Danielle Blunt: So sorry about the miscommunication.
Rebecca Madison: To sign up, I mean, there’s hundreds of photos and videos and then there’s the option to interact with me. Now for $5, I think that’s a very good deal. But they sort of expect this whole girlfriend package with it. So there are some people like that that I just have to have really firm boundaries with. And I’m quite cold with those people, whereas with other people who just maybe are well-meaning, but they don’t know, I’m really happy to walk them through that. So I’ve had all different kinds of interactions with people and it’s been actually really fascinating.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. I feel like it definitely… And I think being able to hold those boundaries firm helps weed people out who were never planning on contributing, because you’re offering this interact, it’s like intimate interaction with you and if you’re not talking to the person who’s not paying you, you’re definitely talking to the person who is.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah.
Danielle Blunt: So it just feels very simple for me, but definitely some people just need a gentle reminder of like, “This is how the landscape of OnlyFans works.”
Rebecca Madison: Yeah. And that’s fine because they just don’t know. So I’m really happy to do that with them and it’s really just a matter of them not knowing and that’s fine.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. totally. That’s so interesting. It’s such a different mindset than to how I’m used to working as well. I feel like on my OnlyFans as a dominatrix, I feel like there are a lot of ways that some people see as being dumb, but I also just kind of see as a dominant boundary enforcing kind of eroticizing that pause. I feel even just being like, In order to interact with me will require a tip, sounds fairly dominant and I’m so interested in hearing ways that Vanilla or GFE type providers are navigating those boundaries with clients. I feel like sometimes having the language of domination makes it a little bit easier.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah. And so we use a lot of emojis.
Danielle Blunt: I love that answer.
Rebecca Madison: Honestly. I basically do the same thing as what you just said, except I add in pet names and emojis. “Hey babe, I’m so flattered by your attention and just to let you know blah, blah, blah, smiley face,”
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. The hustle is excellent. I love that. But it’s interesting, I feel like there’s… I don’t know if placation is the right term. But as a dom, some people come to me to have their egos bruised. But I feel like there’s a maintenance of their ego as well.
Rebecca Madison: Yes. There is definitely this part where I feel very pressured at times to perform this role that like, “I love doing this all the time.” I feel some people want such an intense fantasy even if there was no money, I would be wanting to talk to you for three hours and that’s just not true. There are people I talk to every day who I like and I like talking to them and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t do it, because even the amount of money that they’re giving me is not worth my peace of mind. That was a decision I made a long time ago that I wouldn’t grit my teeth through anything.
So I actually do leave quite a lot of money on the table. There’s a lot of people who want to interact with me that just give me kind of negative feelings, so I just don’t. But to be very honest, I would love to be spending more time outside and not on the internet all day. I find it difficult when I’m feeling pressured to act in such a fantasy capacity and I feel a lot more at ease with people who can talk to me, they refer to my work as work and they’ll even say, “How is work going today?” I really like those interactions.
Danielle Blunt: That’s nice. I just got little shivers when you were saying that, because I feel like a lot of the messages are, “What do you do for work?” And I’m like, “Hello,” lock message. It’s so interesting. I’m fascinated. I’m also really interested in ways that you’ve maybe explored kink that you’re interested in doing, maybe on online content or potentially one thing I’ve talked to other providers about is how switching to online work has opened up to a lot of people disclosing fantasies and fetishes that they started exploring online.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah. I’ve definitely done some exploring through sexting, especially if I get someone that lines up with me well. If I have a client who has a very dominant personality and then he’ll want to guide the sexting in that direction, for me, it feels like very little work, because I just get to kind of be myself and go along with, you kind of know what you’re doing. I really like that. It’s harder for me… I don’t like to be the one in control, I don’t like to be the one directing what’s happening. So if people kind of approach me wanting to be swept away in something that I’ve created, that’s really not how I work. It’s just not really in my nature. So I don’t really do a lot of sexting or conversations with people that I don’t actually truly mesh with because, for me, that would be like gritting your teeth through it. And this is my mental health, so I just don’t do that, even though I could make more money if I did.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah, definitely. I feel like I also need to have some interest in where we’re going with a fantasy and definitely both a financial privilege of mine and being able to know what that boundary is. And then also it makes me enjoy my work so much more when I’m like, Oh yeah, this is definitely where our fantasies intersect and let’s fucking see what happens is super fun. I’m curious if any of the people who saw you tweeting about wanting to incorporate more of a brattier persona, if any of those panned out in a positive way?
Rebecca Madison: Some people thought it was cute, which made me really happy because I think that if they were to see me in real life and they were to hear my tone of voice or see a cheeky expression, they would get that I’m being playful about it and they will find it cute. But if you don’t read it that way in text, I could see how it would be quite abrasive. So I liked it that there were people who just naturally read it the way that I meant it. People will reach out and tip and tell me that they thought it was hilarious and then they’ll send money and I’ll be like, “Oh cool,” that was what I wanted. So the fact people who just, I guess, are in that frame of mind to themselves and so they just get it and that’s been fun.
Danielle Blunt: That’s fun. Yeah. And there are so many different ways to bring in different types of dynamics, in my brand I have a very hard old school leather dominatrix as well as a softer mommy vibes, which I’ve been having a lot of fun exploring in the pandemic. And a lot of it is just exploring various similar things, but through different archetypes, it’s how I think about it.
Rebecca Madison: Have you been able to translate both of those ways of doing your work into online work?
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. I’ve been having fun doing submissive training tasks. I have a bunch of people calling me, mommy on OnlyFans, which has been really fun and it’s like a personal interest of mine. So it’s not even something that I intentionally started doing, I just had a play partner who would called me mommy and we would film together and then a ton of people started reaching out to me for that. I think like thinking of different archetypes really helps me structure, especially when either setting up a scene or shifting to online work, because what is the need associated with this persona or archetype that they’re interested in and then where am I able to meet that need or figure out what’s going on.
Rebecca Madison: Oh. Cool.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. What was that?
Rebecca Madison: I like that, it sounds like you put a lot of thought into it from both their perspective and then yours as to how you will actually bring that in. That’s really cool.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. I feel like the archetype for me just helps me navigate and contain what the relationship is or it could be in a way that I find really beneficial and really fun. It’s both intentional and not, because I definitely was just shooting with a partner who calls me mommy and then a bunch of people started approaching me for that. So I started making more and more content in line with that, which was really fun.
Rebecca Madison: That’s nice because it’s so organic and sounds very natural, it just flowed in that way.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah, it definitely was. And that’s what I’ve always found works the best is I always, and that’s how I think of content too. “What do I want to manifest with this?” And I think of your tweet like that, maybe someone will buy you a house, maybe someone will buy both of us a house. Maybe we’ll have share lectured land and a sex worker calm you.
Rebecca Madison: That would be cool.
Danielle Blunt: I’m thinking right now about… I do totally think of Twitter as a form of manifestation, but I think of writing as a form of manifestation too. And you’re a very prolific writer and have a really amazing sex worker blog and I’d love if you would tell me a little bit about that.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah, sure. Thanks. I started a blog about six months ago and I feel like this was a really crazy idea because the way I do it, I really do write personally what’s on my mind and how I’m feeling and what’s going on and I write it for myself. And then I just sort of happened to put it online and if anyone wants to read it, they can read it. In a way it could be really problematic because sometimes the things I share are the things I’m feeling really angsty about or things that are going really poorly or things I’m angry about, or even things I don’t about sex work or clients. And so it can be, I think, very off-putting. To be honest, if I was a client, some of the entries I’d be like, “Wow, I really don’t like that.” That breaks the illusion for me, that’s not what I’m into.
I kind of thought, why am I doing this? I’m doing this thing that is almost going to push people away, but that had some kind of drive inside of me that I just had to tell the truth about my experience. And I think I had a really strong urge to connect with people. And when I put it out there, I thought I might connect with other workers. And I definitely have been, I’ve had people reach out to me and be like, “That’s something that I had thought so many times, but I’ve never been able to tell anyone that,” or “I don’t know how to have the words for that.” Then I’ve actually had clients really surprisingly enjoy it as well and the feedback that I’ve gotten from those people has been that they really appreciate the honesty.
Rebecca Madison: I think the other thing they about it is that when I talk about something that I do like about work, they can believe me because I talk so much about the negative sides. How like sometimes on client facing platforms, when sex workers are like, “Oh, I love my job for this and this reason.” You’re like, “Well, is that true? Or are you advertising for your service?” And not to dismiss someone’s feeling about their work, but you kind of have to take it all with a grain of salt. Whereas I think if someone is just constantly giving their soul, the good and the bad and just everything that is in my head, I think people really trust that what I’m saying is true.
So it’s had this interesting benefit of being good for work in a way that I didn’t expect at all. But if I think about it too much, it kind of interferes with… I have to almost pretend that no one reads it or blinders on, otherwise and just remember the goal was just always for me to work out some stuff and put it on the page. It’s almost like a mental health, as a tool to just deal with stuff that’s going on.
Danielle Blunt: I’ve been doing sex work for somewhere between 10 and 12 years. And in there, there was some earlier sex worker blogs where they either weren’t client facing, or I know a few workers who also worked under their professional name and their writer name and it was kind of a part of their brand. And I think it’s kind of related, my name was given to me for Blunt because I had the subtlety of a metaphoric sledgehammer, I was told I was never very good at pretending I like things that I didn’t. But also the similarity that I see is people trust me when I say that I like something or when I don’t. I think that that type of interest also maybe attracts more interesting clients who actually want to know or want to learn what brings you pleasure rather than just you performing the fantasy of what a woman who is having pleasure looks like.
Rebecca Madison: Yes, exactly. Yeah.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. Like open to feedback because part of what your blog is, is talking about both some of the things that you enjoy about the work and a lot of things that you don’t. And I think that can kind of make people feel more comfortable that if something’s not going well, that you know what that looks like and they could be informed too.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, definitely. And it’s so different from how I started out in sex work, where I was just very, I don’t know if compliant is the right word, but I basically just went with whatever the client wanted. And now when I look back at that, I’m like, “What a disaster,” because that was so bad for me. And I had no boundaries and I didn’t know what I wanted and I didn’t know what was good for me and I just said yes to everything. That caused quite a lot of harm than if I had to work on undoing, now that I have such a strong sense of, “This works for me, this doesn’t work for me and I can communicate that,” it’s so much healthier.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah, definitely. I think being able to figure out what those boundaries were for myself too, it was just like, Oh, it makes burnout less likely, it makes sure that my energy is going towards seeing people that I like and give back to me in both a financial sense, but also in a way that keeps my kinks interesting and alive and that I get to do really fun scenes with clients that I really thoroughly enjoy. Then I get to make content that’s really fun and interesting. I wonder, have you had any negative feedback from the blog? I don’t have a blog or anything like that, but I am fairly open and honest on Twitter, which can also be a pro and a con. And while being in conflict with submissives or clients, I’ve definitely written about it in a very generalized way, no personally revealing information, but I think it kind of escalated things. So I’m just wondering if you’ve had any response from people in that capacity.
Rebecca Madison: I definitely had a handful of angry letters from people that I don’t even know. I think I just destroyed the fantasy so bad that it made them angry that they wanted to write to me.
Danielle Blunt: You’re an inspiration.
Rebecca Madison: These are people that are not on my OnlyFans. They never were in-person clients of mine. I have no idea who they even are. It’s some random guy, he’s so mad that I’ve destroyed the illusion that escorts are doing… Whatever his fantasy was. I destroyed it. It was a very long email that I just completely ignored. And that’s the first one that jumps into my mind, but I get quite a few things like that. I don’t think I’ve actually had people call me names, but it’s on close, it’s accusing me of having a certain attitude or personality trait that I don’t think I actually have, but it’s triggered something in them and that’s what I always keep in mind. “Okay you’re having a reaction to something, it really doesn’t have a whole lot to do with me, I didn’t make you read my blog, deal with that yourself.”
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. Have you ever had anyone that you’ve written about have a response?
Rebecca Madison: I don’t think that anyone I’ve written about has read my work. It’s like I have people that read my blog and then there’s people that are on my OnlyFans and very little overlap. And I find that really interesting. And in a way it’s probably for the best, because sometimes if I’m thinking about something or expressing a frustration, it’s not necessarily in my interest for those people to be reading that. So in a way, maybe that’s why it’s gone as well as it has, because it’s almost like I’m appealing to two different types of people.
Danielle Blunt: It’s definitely interesting. And I only know this from just being active on Twitter, but I have a joke that, I think sub-tweets are the most beautiful form of statism because you can cast a wide net and hurt so many people. Well, just like a generalized tweet and it’s mostly a joke, but it’s also very true because I’ve definitely succumbed to the sub-tweet and done it and have someone reach out who’s like, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” And I’m like, “This has nothing to do with you.”
Rebecca Madison: Yeah. Actually I’ve had that happen with tweets. I don’t think I’ve had that… Maybe I’ve had it happen a couple of times with blogs. Yeah. There was a couple of people who read the blog who were also OnlyFans customers and they wrote apology letters. And I was like, “No, you’re not the type of person I was even talking about,” but that’s so sweet that your heart was in the place where you make amends or something or, but yeah. And with tweets sometimes I’ll make comments about general things or even about someone in particular and then other people will think it’s about them and I’m like, “No, calm down. You’re fine, were good, you were doing so good.”
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. That’s how I feel. They should already know before you’re sub-tweeting.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah. The fact that they even would question, “I guess this is me, am I doing okay?” I think it’s really sweet.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. I feel like most people do want to be good and respect your boundaries and know what are the proper ways of communicating with you are. And I think what’s so interesting about your blog is that it does sort of lift that veil and then it also opens people… When you can accept that there are negative feelings about something you can also trust that some of the good ones are real.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah. I think so.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. And so that’s what I really enjoy about your blog and being able to read some of that.
Rebecca Madison: Thank you. Yeah.
Danielle Blunt: Is there anything else you wanted to chat about today?
Rebecca Madison: I’d love to hear how you’re doing. Just as a person in general.
Danielle Blunt: I’m doing okay. I have been quarantining upstate with my dog. So right now I’m looking up and there’s snow everywhere, all over trees and it has solidified the fact that I do want to live in the woods and have someone buy me a house.
Rebecca Madison: Cool.
Danielle Blunt: But yeah, the transition to online work has been very different for me because I also used to be an in-person worker. It’s been finding out what the right balance is for putting my energy towards online work and what’s giving back to me and the ways that I like, but it’s also really allowed me to make space to create the content that I like for the types of people that I like interacting with. I’m thinking like, what’s kinkier than a 12 month chastity or quarantine and people are going to be so fucking horny. We’re doing a great service.
But I’ve been thinking about what I know about kink and what the quarantine is and I’m like, it’s a type of intense bonded, people are going to develop a ton of new fetishes about intimacy, distance, fluid bonding. And so I’ve been having fun chatting with people about what has the quarantine gotten them into. I’ve been thinking a lot about latex fashion. I actually have a latex allergy, I’ve never been super into latex, but it’s like that super thin barrier between people that is kind of more taboo and eroticized for me now.
Rebecca Madison: Interesting. That’s really cool. Awesome.
Danielle Blunt: What about you? How have you been doing?
Rebecca Madison: Oh gosh, I don’t know if you believe in or into love languages, but my primary love language is touch. And so I’ve really been struggling with that in the pandemic and I definitely spend a lot of time fantasizing about rushing up against someone or holding hands or a first kiss or… I really the feeling of someone’s hand, stroking my hair behind my ear, running their fingers down my neck. Just these very micro, loving, affectionate touches that I would definitely be seeking out in life if it wasn’t the pandemic.
So my fantasy life in my head in a way has been heightened with more detail, which in a way is cool because it highlights for me what I like and what I’m interested in and what I need and want. I try to frame it as, okay, this is what I’m looking forward to, as opposed to this is what I’m not getting. So I’m not trying to do that shift in my head, it’s a bit hard. But basically otherwise in quarantine, I’m just trying really hard to be grateful for everything that’s going well, which is a lot I’m really lucky compared to a lot of people and I’m financially stable and have a safe house to live in with roommates who I get along with really well and two cats that I live with, it’s pretty good.
Danielle Blunt: Yeah. It’s interesting when you talk about those gentle forms of touch as part of a love language, because the things that have become very eroticized for me is, I’ll be fantasizing about having a submissive and a latex back bed and my foot gently resting on their cock and this very kinky higher protocol, higher material and props or just holding someone’s hand. It’s either extreme for me, I’m just gently sitting next to someone with our thighs touching. Sounds really appealing.
Rebecca Madison: Yes. I know exactly what you’re talking about.
Danielle Blunt: But it’s become eroticized and I’m also trying not to focus on some of the things that I’m missing and I love the way you were framing that around, thinking about, like what are you looking forward to? And it’s definitely an orgy with all of my kinky friends and then just holding hands.
Rebecca Madison: Definitely. Yeah, it’s what I want.
Danielle Blunt: It takes on this erotic element for me, I don’t know if it’s the same for you, but I’m just fantasizing about it to the point where I’m like, I’m going to think about holding hands when I come, I can’t tell us will ruin my branding. Well, thank you for sharing that and thank you for chatting with me. It’s been really nice chatting with you about money and sex worker blogs.
Rebecca Madison: Yeah. Thank you. It was a pleasure to meet you this way and to talk with you. It’s really nice. So thanks for having me.
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