Kinky Femdom GFE: An Interview with the MILF Next Door, Aussie Rachel

This week I had the pleasure of interviewing my friend Aussie Rachel about transitioning GFE dynamics to online work. We talked about the archetype of the hot, Jewish, Milf and what makes her so alluring and approachable to explore kink and fetishes with!

Mistress Danielle Blunt: My name is Danielle Blunt. I am a prodomme based out of New York City, and I am here with Aussie Rachel. Would you like to introduce yourself? If you could just tell me a little bit about yourself, about the kind of work that you do, and what you’re into.

Aussie Rachel: I’m Aussie Rachel, in New York City, and prior to COVID, I was a girlfriend experience (GFE) provider, an in-person sex worker. Due to COVID, I have transitioned online to primarily, ostensibly being an online sex worker only, due to the plague.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah. I am seeing largely more people online, as well. It’s a very different dynamic. It’s a very different skillset. I have so much respect and admiration for the online hussle.

Aussie Rachel: Yeah. I had no idea before. I’m so glad I had the opportunity, even under these awful reasons, to go online, to understand what online sex work is, and to have true solidarity and understand the hustle of sex workers online and what they go through and the work they do. It’s given me such admiration for online sex workers. I would never have realized, had this not happened.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah. It’s just a very different kind of work. I’ve been finding there’s things I like. Just like in in-person work, there’s things I like and things that I don’t like. 

Okay, so can you explain what girlfriend experience (GFE) is?

Aussie Rachel: For me I seem to work well with clients who are interested in the intellectual and the emotional connection as well as the physical. For me a GFE provider is not a list of menu items to get through sexually but an organic experience of sexuality. 

Mistress Danielle Blunt: I’m also interested, as a primarily GFE provider pre-COVID, what are some things you enjoy about those sessions in particular?

I feel like it’s a slightly more intimate, one-on-one connection that you can start to develop and really understand someone’s sexuality and what gets them off. What about that do you find interesting?

Aussie Rachel: What I loved about in-person sex work and, we call it full service or being an escort or companion, is this one hour of time where we’re able to kind of get to know one another, mentally and emotionally, and then become physical with one another. For some reason, it becomes very intimate. 

You do get regulars, but the regulars are only within this hermetic space of time. There’s no tethers outside of it, and so you have this secret space and time that exists only between the two of you. You’re the two people outside of the whole world, and nothing else exists. It’s closed. 

That’s kind of special. It’s like a special space away from time.. You know what I mean?

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah. It’s interesting that you say that because before we started recording, I was asking you some questions about kinky things that show up in more vanilla work. 

Something that I say about my BDSM and femdom sessions is that sub space or top space or these altered states of consciousness that you can fall into during play, I think you can fall into a similar headspace during contract sex, or when you just carve out that time to spend one on one attunement with people.

Aussie Rachel: Yes. A liminal space.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: I’m not talking down about myself, but sometimes the most transformative part of a session with me is that someone turns their phone off for an hour.

Aussie Rachel: Yes!

Mistress Danielle Blunt: To just be present. Can you talk a little bit about that shared space and intimacy that comes with GFE?

Aussie Rachel:  I think what I mean by a shared space is this liminal moment in time that creates a nutshell narrative. Each encounter has a beginning, a middle and an end. Because it is a hermetic space, intimacy becomes heightened. Everything becomes heightened. 

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah, and I think there’s something so beautiful about creating that time and space. So much of our life, we’re not doing that. So, how is GFE or full service sex work different than other types of sex work?

Aussie Rachel: I don’t particularly think GFE is dissimilar to any other kind of in-person sex work but there a difference for me to being a GFE online provider. 

Mistress Danielle Blunt: And are you still offering online GFE? How is online GFE different than in-person GFE?

Aussie Rachel: I think the primary difference is time. Time is amorphous online and I find I am having on-going ‘relationships’ which means a lot more emotional labor because they do become emotional relationships, with subscribers. 

You’re messaging each other and you’re learning about each other, but it’s so many. 

Whereas in-person sex workers, we don’t see as many clients as I’m finding with subscribers.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah, that makes sense. I feel like it’s just a different type of intimacy. I’ve been having to negotiate different boundaries for myself. It’s a learning curve, definitely, of how to get the good interactions that give back to you in a way, and how to not overextend yourself. It’s a total learning curve for me.

Aussie Rachel: Total learning curve. This whole year has been like doing a bachelors degree in online work. It’s a total learning curve, yeah.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: What are some of the things that you learned, or found that you do enjoy, about your OnlyFans and getting to stay in touch with OnlyFans subscribers and things like that?

Aussie Rachel: I am fascinated by the way you can create really intense and sweet emotional connections with people through cyberwaves. I love sexting and discovering the literate and the delightful subscribers is so joyful for me. We get to play with words and images and create a whole fantasy and tbh it makes we wet.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: If you could go back tell your early pandemic self how to start an OnlyFans, what would you say?

Aussie Rachel: I don’t think I would change anything. I met Marcela who is an online queen at a SWOP Brooklyn meeting and she is older (like me) and I listened and learned and have been mentored by her. I really recommend her as an online coach. 

Mistress Danielle Blunt: I’m interested in how vanilla online sex work may be different from online femdom. Do you offer kink? Do you get approached for it?

Aussie Rachel: You were talking before about kink and do people who are into kink approach me, as a GFE provider, in real world? I said no, but online they do. 

What’s been interesting is finding people who have introduced me to kink. One subscriber was really into WAM. Wet and messy, and pie in the face fetish. All I knew was the beautiful Lindsay Dye’s work.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Oh, her work is amazing! All of the cake sitting. It is such a beautiful and messy fetish. I cry when I see her sit on a cake.

Aussie Rachel: She’s an artist. I’ve only ever come into that world through art, or through her work. To have this subscriber kind of introduce me, it would have never happened to me as a GFE provider in the real world. 

I did a pie in the face fetish, and I got to read up on it. That was really interesting. And WAM, and learning about wet and messy. 

Mistress Danielle Blunt: What did you learn about wet and messy? Were you into it? How have you been creating WAM fantasies online?

Aussie Rachel: Yes, I did a pie-in-the-face fetish video for my one subscriber and I think he loved introducing me to it and intellectually describing why he loves this fetish was so brilliant.

 I’m also very aware as a GFE provider, I don’t have any background in kink or BDSM. 

Subscribers who have come to me might be feeling their way around their fetish desires and they’re nervous about approaching a mistress, is what I’m feeling. 

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah. It’s interesting, too, because I do feel like some newbies feel very nervous approaching an established dominatrix or femdom. It sounds like you’re really open and interested and learning about people’s sexualities and really eager to learn more. 

I think that’s a really beautiful thing, especially when you get to kind of explore these together. If someone has never had a kink experience and you’re down, you’re like, “Cool, let’s do this together.”

Aussie Rachel: It’s totally outside of my realm of experience, or my sexuality in a way, but I’m open to learning about it. I have so much to learn. I think that’s the other thing about online work, it’s opening up all this other stuff. I’m like, “Oh my god, I have so much to learn still.”

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah, I think that’s something that can be really fun, too. I totally understand, yes, I think it’s important to educate yourself and learn things, and make sure you’re not hurting people, and learning some of the hard skills, if you’re doing things that could create physical or emotional harm, potentially. 

It also seems like a very GFE thing, to be like, “Oh, this is what you’re interested in, baby? I would love to learn about this with you.” 

I think it’s a really interesting way to approach kinda. That’s why I asked you if, in in-person work, it ever happened. I feel like a lot of people who are interested in playing with power dynamics aren’t necessarily interested in the archetype of a dominatrix. 

I know a lot of my vanilla friends just have had men ask them for certain things because they were interested and really nervous about coming out, and probably would never see a prodomme. 

Most of my friends are like, “Cool, yeah.” They’ll all call me like, “What do I do?” 

But yeah, it’s so interesting. It sounds like you’re saying some of your subscribers feel like it’s a lower threat, to figure it out with you.

Aussie Rachel: Is it ethically okay, given I don’t know much about kink and BDSM, to be playing with so little knowledge, or learning as I go? Does that make sense?

Mistress Danielle Blunt: First of all, I think it’s a good sign that you’re asking that question. I don’t think there’s any hard and fast rule. I think so many people begin to explore kink in a similar way, like this, because of circumstance. 

Whether it be like, “Oh, now I’m doing online work, and someone’s approaching me for more kink stuff. Oh, this is kind of sexy. I can play around with that.” 

Or someone’s partner is like, “Hey, I have a foot fetish. You have feet. Let’s go to town.” 

I feel like as long as you’re talking about it, you’re not presenting yourself as an expert, and you’re like, “I’m exploring this along with you,” that feels totally fine to me. 

That sounds, also, very much GFE style, of figuring something out together.

Aussie Rachel: I love this. The idea of us figuring it out together. Baby, what turns you on and how can we learn together, sort-of-thing.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: When I was younger, I was Skyping or having cybersex with people before I had the language for kink. I don’t think that that’s necessarily wrong. I also think the internet is a great place to kind of figure out some of those things. 

I didn’t have language around BDSM, but I was interested in power dynamics. When I would go into chat rooms, I would be ostensibly having very kinky conversations with no fucking idea what I was doing. It wasn’t until becoming a dominatrix and getting BDSM training and education that I was like, “Oh, that makes sense.”

That’s why I think it’s really cool to hear you talking about how people … I think there’s two types of people who will approach someone who’s not a domme. 

One is someone who’s nervous and wants to figure it out, and someone who is into the fact that you don’t know what you’re doing, in a bad way.

But yeah, I think that there’s also something very sweet to exploring kink, and BDSM as something that’s new, together.

Aussie Rachel: I was listening to you, I was reading you and Charlotte Cross, how you both had a very similar story You were both pretty young, and you realized this was something that interests you. You both had an affinity or a calling for it.

I wanted to know, if someone like me who doesn’t naturally have domme tendencies … and I really admire people like you who do, I wanted to ask is being a domme good for building self-worth and getting to know yourself and your body? Can you explain that a little bit for me?

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Sure. I also think it’s interesting that you say that, too, because I think online sex work can have an either side response to it. Like, “Oh, it feels good to get all this positive reinforcement for my body.” Or, “I don’t want to keep looking at photos of myself.” Or oscillating wildly between the two. Like, “Damn, I’m hot,” and, “I’ve got to stop looking at photos of myself.”

Aussie Rachel: Yes! Yes. It’s overwhelming.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah. I think that can have a similar effect. I think that the empowerment that I find from domming is mostly around the communication about boundaries. I also switch rarely, but have experience in my personal life switching. I think those feelings can be learned on either end of a D/s relationship.

I think what translates most to vanilla sex, or feeling empowered, or feeling that sense of self-worth, for me, is, “People want to worship me. That’s hot.” I think worship is really hot. 

I think there’s some things in vanilla sex and tantric sex that can be kind of kinky. “Let’s look at each other in the eyes while we fuck until we cum at the same time.” 

That’s fucking very intense. Maybe I would red out of that situation. (laughs)

Aussie Rachel: Wow, fascinating.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah, so I think that there’s a lot of things about vanilla sex that, when you’re that hyper-attuned and present, can kind of be really kinky. I feel like in vanilla sex, too, there’s a lot of heteronormative power dynamics that are playing out, that aren’t talked about.

Aussie Rachel: How so, may I ask?

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Well, if you’re just looking at regular heteronormative, cis porn, the woman is often in a more submissive position. I’m just thinking of the porn that I see, where a woman is getting railed and kind of being used more as an object. I feel that is very present in a lot of porn.

Aussie Rachel: The idea of being worshiped is really interesting. To ask to be worshiped seems deeply vulnerable, in a way. Do you think so? How do you handle that?

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah. For me, it feels vulnerable, too. It’s more so to allow someone that type of access to me. I think articulating any need or desire that you have can be a type of intense vulnerability or intimacy if it is something that you aren’t familiar with.

When you were asking about things I’ve learned about empowerment through BDSM, when I break it down, it’s about negotiation boundaries and feeling really, really empowered to ask for what I want, and asking things to stop and switch, when it’s not something that I want.

Aussie Rachel: Beautiful.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah.Especially in D/s relationships, there’s space for me to receive positive feedback from those. Whereas in some more vanilla instances that I’ve had, those positive reinforcements haven’t been there.

It’s not always the case in BDSM or D/s dynamics, but I think that there are more opportunities to … What I like about it is the ritual of asking. I think begging and demanding someone do something are just really hot ways of getting your needs met.

From either side of the D/s dynamic, whether a sub is begging for something, they’re having to articulate what their wants and needs are, which is incredibly vulnerable, the same as if I’m playing with a personal submissive and I’m telling them to do something. I’m also telling them that that’s what I want, which I think is its own type of vulnerability, as well. Especially for me, if it’s a particularly sadistic desire, where I don’t know how it will land.

Aussie Rachel: Fascinating. Honestly, so fascinating. I don’t think you can just dip your toe into … Or you can dip your toe into it, but I just think you need to learn a lot about it.

Also, on your website, I love that you’ve got so much reading material. I love that. I can’t wait to dip into that. 

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Thank you. Yeah, I try and have some educational component on my website. What I think is really interesting about the work that you’re doing now is, you’re doing that reading and you’re doing that research. You have this curiosity. I think curiosity is really sexy. I’m wondering if you want to talk a little bit about what it’s been like for you to explore. 

You talked a little bit about the wet and messy fetish that you played with, a little bit about CBT. Are there other things that you’ve sort of been exploring in your online work, that you might not have explored in in-person work, that you’re enjoying?

Aussie Rachel: One thing I’m actually enjoying is subscribers who tip me a lot, and they’ll tip and tip but I can’t say thank you enough, in a way. I know that’s in fact maybe not what they want, so I’m confused by that dynamic, too. Is that a femdom thing?

Also because I’m so used to an hour in-person session and there being a beginning, a middle, and an end to a session, where a session, it’s a complete kind of narrative, and our session is complete. That makes sense to me. Whereas this is so amorphous or ambiguous. 

Mistress Danielle Blunt: I think, too, there’s so much emotional, physical, and sexual labor that women do uncompensated, that I totally understand and hear that feeling. But maybe this is a chance to begin to shift some of that!

Aussie Rachel: Yes.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Which I think ties back into the femdom conversation. Something that I found interesting about online sex work is that, as a domme, I feel very comfortable and confident asking for tips when I want or expect it, because it’s kind of part of the dynamic. 

I’ve always wondered how vanilla online workers or submissive online workers handle that. It’s a very different dynamic, of finessing tips or just getting compensated for your time, on these platforms. How do you approach that?

Aussie Rachel: I find it very hard. It doesn’t come naturally to me. I lack self-worth and don’t think I deserve it so to have to ask for tips has been confronting. To be able to accept large tips has been hard. I think again because of my in-person work where I feel like there is a an exchange of service for money. Tips seems umoored. They are not tied to a service. Accepting kindness is hard for me. Asking for tips? Again. Hard. Super different to in-person work.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: True. It’s such a different platform and dynamic. We started off talking about that really intimate one-on-one conversation that you could have with someone in an in person session. How are you recreating that intimacy online and maintaining boundaries with online GFE?

Aussie Rachel: Maintaining boundaries is harder online. I need to get better at creating boundaries but creating intimacy seems to come sweetly to me. How do you create boundaries?

Mistress Danielle Blunt: For me, it’s been trying to find what boundaries work, to create that kind of dynamic that feels good. 

I’m thinking of one person who is like, “Why aren’t you answering? Why aren’t you answering?” As if I would be always be available, but is consistently tipping. The Domme in me is like, “You will wait. You can continue sending tips as often as you want, and I will respond to you when I’m ready. Just because you tipped me doesn’t mean I’m able or interested in responding in two minutes.” 

I think everyone should feel empowered to make those boundaries, that I’m not omni-accessible. Sure I’m grateful for your patience and your tip, but that is expected for me. People need to learn patience, too.

Aussie Rachel: I need to learn that, too, yes.. It’s definitely this ongoing sort of so many people asking for a lot of attention, or being emotionally available for many more people than I’m perhaps used to. 

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah, I send audio messages that are locked, photos that are locked. I feel like, because we’re posting so much and people are used to consuming online porn and sex workers content for free, the idea that you should be on the accessible, it’s just not realistic if someone’s paying $10 a month, that you’re going to be there to chat with them for hours. 

I think even gentle reminders, because not all the work that I do is Femdom. Not everyone is interested in having that type of relationship, to contact and messaging. Some people just want to be a voyeur!

Also, I think people need to remember to compensate sex workers for their labor and their time and their attention, which is a very beautiful and precious resource. That’s not unlimited. Have you been enjoying online content and creating content? Will you continue doing online sex work after COVID-19?

Aussie Rachel: I think I will continue online-sex- work for sure. Perhaps not at the breakneck speed I have been working at but yes absolutely. I have learned a lot and want to continue learning and, it’s totally new to me. I’ve never seen my pussy before this. I’ve never seen my pussy so much. So much pussy. 

Mistress Danielle Blunt: It’s so interesting, yeah.

Aussie Rachel: I know. Also, I’m obviously shy. Being in front of the camera is not my preferred position to be, at all. I don’t like it. It’s been really confronting, really exhausting. 

I’m only just creating this catalog of images, which is big, to have that. Now, six or seven months, or eight months into it, nine months into it, you have a library of images or video clips that you can now work with. 

That’s been huge, to understand that you need to have a back library, in a way, of images that you’re collating and archiving, and making sure that you have them available, or working.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah, I think it’s definitely been helpful, that I have a bunch of old content in there. I’m also taking different types of pictures than I normally do, for my professional advertisements, are all normally very clothed. 

I also do some more mainstream porn, so I don’t have a problem with it. It’s just not the type of content that I’m normally making. Also, I feel like people really want to see more of my content with men, and I’m not quarantined with any men.

Aussie Rachel: Yeah. I get that a lot, too.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: I’m just like, “I’m sorry, it’s going to be another two to eight months-before I get to fuck a man.”

Aussie Rachel: I know. I keep saying, “There’s a plague outside.””Did you not notice?”

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Well, thank you for being so vulnerable with me in this conversation, because I think for a lot of in-person workers, the transition to online work can be really difficult. 

It’s a very different way of working, but also it opens up a lot of opportunities to meet new people. I’m sort of wondering, what have you gotten out of this transition to online work?

Aussie Rachel: I think what I’ve learned and what I’ve experienced is this idea of realizing that I’m a kink-friendly girl next door, or rather a woman next door, an older woman who is now kink-friendly, this older woman who has realized that kink is super interesting. 

I love the idea that I’ve got subscribers who perhaps wouldn’t have approached me in real life, as a GFE provider, and been open with these kinks, and feel comfortable behind the screen, or the cyber waves, to kind of be more vulnerable about what their kinks are, which means that I get to learn. 

I get to learn about WAM and pie fetish, and I get to read and explore and then go to your blog, and have all this literature that I get to read and explore and learn more about my sexuality, as a result.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah. You were also talking about taking photos of your pussy and not having seen it before!. I feel like it’s this really interesting way to get very acquainted with your body and your own sexuality. 

From hearing you talk, I love that idea of the kink curious girlfriend next door. 

Your curiosity and your interest in learning I think is probably why people are coming to you, with some of those more kink curious questions!

It could be because it’s an equally vulnerable situation, if both of you are learning together.

Aussie Rachel: So interesting. I think it’s so true. I think that’s absolutely true. We get to learn together, or they don’t feel as threatened. I feel like they’re on their way to see someone like you, but they’re just testing it out. 

Yeah, this idea of also seeing one’s pussy so much. In our era, because of FOSTA-SESTA, we always have to be clothed when we’re advertising in-person sex work, it’s not like we ever have photographers shooting our pussy. 

I don’t think I’ve ever seen my pussy before online sex work. Literally, I’ve never. I don’t think I even had a mirror and looked at it. I’m now shooting, having to make sure the right light is now lit, so my labia can be seen, which is kind of hilarious.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: What is it like, having that relationship with your pussy?

Aussie Rachel: I’m just so curious, and my asshole. Honestly, I’ve never in my life. I’m a nice Jewish MILF. What the hell am I doing looking at my asshole?

Mistress Danielle Blunt: “I’m a nice Jewish MILF.” I love that. Yeah, and also, that brings up a whole other thing. Also, as a nice JewishMILF-but who else do you go to, to learn things from? 

There’s a gentle power dynamic that’s present there, especially with MILF or some mommy domme energy, some nurturing. Who else do you go to for kink advice or to explore than the nice Jewish MILF next door? That makes sense to me.

Aussie Rachel: Come learn it with this nice Jewish MILF, who now knows what her asshole looks like. She never knew. She really never knew before. She didn’t know what her pussy looked like before. She is now very acquainted. [Both laugh]

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah, it’s like this reciprocal vulnerability that I’m hearing, about you and your subscribers. It’s very different, but also it gives you the opportunity to create new relationships, with both yourself, with images of yourself, and this shared vulnerability with the people who you’re interacting with.

Aussie Rachel: Yeah. Who would have thought that it was this online OnlyFans, or this online platform, that has created this new vulnerability and in-your-face sort of stuff?

Mistress Danielle Blunt: I’m wondering, what’s your favorite image that you’ve taken of yourself, that made you feel like, “Wow, damn, that’s me.” Or favorite interaction that you’ve had with someone?

Aussie Rachel: So many favorite interactions. Too many to name, truly! In terms of images I have taken of myself —-I have a couple that an academic in London is going to use for the cover of a journal discussing sex-work so while I am super self-critical I adore that someone liked my self portraits enough to pay me to place them on the cover of an academic journal.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: I’m wondering, is there a favorite photo that you’ve taken of yourself, or a favorite interaction that you’ve had with a submissive, that kind of changes that relationship to exhibitionism? 

Because I don’t think either of us particularly identify as an exhibitionist, but yet we’re in this industry, where we’re ostensibly being an exhibitionist. I think it changes my relationship with my body. 

It is nice getting positive feedback, but I’m wondering, what are some of those experiences that you’ve had for you, that maybe made you feel a little bit more of that worth?

Aussie Rachel: I think what’s been interesting to me is photos that I don’t perhaps think are that sexy. I’m also learning about what is sexy, in terms of images, or what people react to, in terms of sexuality in images. 

In my position, all I want to do is make them hard. That’s all I want to do, is make you hard and delight you. How can I do that with a still image, and what can I get across sexually, through a 2D kind of representation of my body? 

When people react to it, or when people tip me on it, or when people want more, a film or a video, from that particular image, not only am I learning a lot about my own sexuality and my body, but it makes me feel good about myself.

Mistress Danielle Blunt: Yeah. I think that’s so sweet. It’s so beautiful. It’s beautiful and challenging, to share that vulnerability with other people and your subscribers. 

I feel like your subscribers are very lucky that you’re doing that. It sounds like they’re also being very vulnerable with you, which I think OnlyFans, in its best form, can be this space of shared vulnerability.

Aussie Rachel: Oh, thank you so much. I so appreciate you. 

Mistress Danielle Blunt: I appreciate you too!

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